The Fearless Caregiver

By Gail Sheehy

Louis Colbert thought he knew all there was to know about caregiving. He has 30 years of experience as a social worker and is the director of the Area Agency on Aging in Delaware County, Pa. But when he and his six siblings were confronted with the problem of "What to do about Mom with Parkinson's?," Louis struggled with the resistance many men feel about getting too close to a caregiving situation.

"As sons, we struggle a lot with how to do personal care for a mother," he admits. He describes the awkward dance he did with his mom, Helen, the first time he took her to the bathroom. "When I lifted her nightgown, she shrieked, 'I'm a married woman!'" he recalls. Louis learned how to share the dance with his mother so she wouldn't be exposed.

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