Getting Help Outside
Your Circle of Care

By Gail Sheehy

In spring of 2008, Aster Evangelista couldn't speak a sentence without crying. She was in tears all the time, juggling work and full-time caregiving duties, not for one, but for two loved ones. She reached out to her pastor. She spoke with a friend who's a nurse. At the insistence of a concerned coworker, Aster began to make calls to the 800 numbers listed on her insurance policy. One call reached an office in Florida that directed her to another 800 number. It was all very vague. She was sent an application and a survey to fill out. Nothing ever happened.

Months went by. Aster grew desperate. "I was thinking of getting in my car and driving to nowhere," she told me. "I don't know how I got through it…so many emotions, so many mixed feelings…I've been doing it for a long time for my husband, and now I feel inadequate to take care of my mother too. She has so many chronic illnesses. I just have to talk to somebody about it."

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