Caring for the Unloved One

By Gail Sheehy

It may sound callous to divorce a dying husband.  But Mary Tinker's story reveals a hidden aspect of caregiving: It can turn into domestic abuse.

A suffering person can be highly manipulative and inspire guilt and fear of social ostracization if his caregiver does not fit the self-sacrificial model.

Mary Tinker is the posterwoman for a sacrificial caregiver who is heartlessly used by a family member until her own life is endangered by continuing to perform the role. When the stress of caregiving is acute, non-stop and prolonged, the aftereffects can last for many years.

• Continue reading Gail's journal