The Pros and Cons of Being an Older Dad

PROS​

Bringing life experience to the job​

​Liu says he doesn’t panic or worry about details as much as he did in his younger days.​

​“Part of that is experience having other kids,” he says. “But I do think there’s a lot of perspective I have now that I might not have had when I was younger, which makes for easier and more reliable parenting.”​

​Having some adversity in life means you’ve also built some resilience, says Emily Pardy, a licensed marriage and family therapist based in Nashville, Tennessee. “If you can humble yourself enough to say, ‘I don’t know what I’m doing,’ then you can welcome the experience and not have insecurities that someone in their 20s or 30s would while still trying to prove to themselves that they’re an adult in the first place.”​

​Financial security

Older dads are typically closer to the top of their achieved work goals. This brings financial stability and sometimes extra time and work flexibility, Pardy says.

 ​Older fathers “usually already own a home, and a lot of other big life milestones that require a lot of time and attention and resources have been established for some time,” she says. They can afford to hire help that makes parenting easier. ​

That financial security may make a difference down the road, particularly as families think about higher education costs. Duffy sees a lot of anxiety among younger parents when it comes to saving money for college — particularly because so many people are getting laid off at a young age. ​​

“Those who are older tend to have a nest egg and, as a result, far less financial stress,” he says, “which also frees up some emotional and head space for parenting.”​

It keeps you young​

Playing with his youngest child is a good excuse for Liu to be silly and childlike.​ ​

“It’s easy to lose touch with that side of yourself as you get older; that’s why people look forward to being grandparents,” he says. “[Sammy] keeps me engaged and helps keep me from getting bogged down in too much ‘adulting.’  ”​

​More informed parenting​

Parenting in your 50s or beyond is likely to look a lot different than parenting in your 20s. An older father may have more time to think about nutrition and the food his child eats or to consider the detriments of too much screen time, and he could be up to date on the latest research and parenting techniques.

Liu admits he’s acutely aware of his need to be a role model. That means paying close attention to how he lives the life lessons he’s trying to hand down, such as eating well and exercising — and being reasonable about screen time.

“Those are good in theory,” he says. “I do think I’m conscious of doing the right thing more, because he’s watching and learning from me.”​

​CONS​

Health risks​

Some studies have shown that fathering a child at an older age may increase the likelihood of medical issues for children. ​

Babies born to older fathers are at a higher risk for adverse birth outcomes, according to a 2018 study from researchers at Stanford University. Those scientists culled data on more than 40 million births and found that babies born to fathers older than about 35 were at a higher risk for problems such as low birth weights and seizures.

The older the father, the study showed, the greater the risk.​ 

A 2019 Rutgers University study showed that infants born to older fathers were found to be at a higher risk of similar problems, as well as such birth defects as congenital heart disease and cleft palate, among other issues. As they matured, these children were found to have an increased likelihood of childhood cancers, psychiatric and cognitive disorders, and autism.

A lack of cultural relevancy​

Older dads may not be as in touch with what’s going on with their kids, and may not understand social media and how it can affect a child’s self-esteem — leading to a steeper learning curve than for a younger father.​ 

“They have to do more listening than talking — and that’s hard for older fathers for whom lectures from their own fathers worked really well,” Duffy says. “Kids today are used to — and almost expect and demand — some degree of collaboration in being raised.”

That might be hard for a father who sees himself in a more traditional role, which won’t work with today’s kids, who want to know the “why” behind parenting decisions, Duffy says.

“They say, ‘We’re going to have a discussion, or I’ll tune you out,’  ” Duffy says, which may leave some older dads angry, frustrated or “feeling a little powerless as a parent.”​​ 

Lower energy​

Fatherhood is physical — it’s about being down on the floor and in the yard running around, says Duffy, who encourages older dads to be as involved as they can be. If a dad needs a daily nap, isn’t in the best of health, or has physical limitations, keeping up the necessary energy can be a challenge.​ 

“I don’t want them to miss out on the joys of parenthood,” Duffy says of older dads. “Time is precious and moves quickly, and nobody is more aware of that than an older father.”​

Editor's note: This article was originally published on May 17, 2023. It has been updated to reflect new information.