Is It Time for Your Loved One to Retire From Driving?

"Normal aging is associated with decreased reaction time, vision problems and hearing decline, all of which put someone at risk from other drivers,” he says.

In addition, certain medical conditions — such as arthritis, cardiovascular disease, dementia, glaucoma and macular degeneration, Parkinson's disease, and stroke — can compromise a person's driving abilities. “The more medications you take and the more medical conditions you have, the more at risk you are with driving,” Kennedy says.

The deciding factor: whether grandchildren are allowed in the car when the older adult is driving.

If not, “this is a clear indicator of peril, and it is time to retire from driving, not just for the sake of the driver's grandchildren but for all the other kids on the road,” Kennedy says.

Driving warning signs

Medical issues aren't the only reasons to worry about driving abilities. These problems suggest an older family member should have second thoughts about driving:

• Driving too slow or too fast consistently
• Getting lost on familiar roads
• Having recent car accidents or near misses
• Having trouble parking or turning left
• Receiving tickets for driving violations
• Running red lights or stop signs
• Showing up with new dents or scratches on the car
• Using lanes improperly

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Observe as a passenger

If you have concerns about an older adult's driving, run an errand with the driver so you can really gauge response time and your general confidence in your loved one's proficiency, says Sara M. Bradley, an associate professor of general internal medicine and geriatrics at the Northwestern University Feinberg School of Medicine in Chicago.

If red flags appear during the drive, broach the conversation later by gently pointing out that you're concerned about your loved one's vulnerability on the road and ability to protect passengers from other, potentially more aggressive drivers.

Noting that the cognitive or motor-skills changes they're experiencing put them at greater risk from other drivers is “a better way to frame it than saying, ‘You're not safe,'” Kennedy says. “That way, they're less to blame.”

It is also worth encouraging older loved ones to take a self-assessment questionnaire from the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration to see if any potentially problematic symptoms could affect their driving abilities. AARP also offers online safety courses for older drivers;  classroom courses, which were shut down by the COVID-19 pandemic, are scheduled to resume in January 2022. Passing the course could lower your auto insurance premium.

"Sometimes they are aware that they're slowing down, and if it's approached as an ongoing dialogue, people tend to be more receptive,” Bradley says. Loved ones might recognize some of the signs in themselves and realize that they have been feeling less confident driving under certain conditions.

In addition, encourage your loved one to have an older adult driving evaluation. These are often available at hospitals and administered by occupational therapists or driving rehab specialists.

"These evaluations have nothing to do with licensure,” Grossberg says. Knowing this may ease a family's reluctance to have one.

The evaluation might “find that the person is a safe driver but not at night or in areas they don't know,” Grossberg says. In other words, your loved one may realize that it makes sense to put some restrictions on his or her driving rather than putting an end to it altogether.

In some instances, the specialist “can suggest vehicle adaptations that make it safer for the person to continue driving,” Bradley says.

Thirty-seven states and the District of Columbia have special provisions for mature drivers — Maryland requires a vision test for renewal starting at age 40, for example. Along with vision tests, these might include in-person license renewals, more frequent renewals and road tests, according to the Governors Highway Safety Association.

Nondrivers have more options these days

If it does become clear that your loved one needs to stop driving, you can help take some of the sting from the loss by helping figure out practical ways to deal with it. Perhaps by using online grocery delivery services, finding a friend or family member to step in and drive, or talking with a religious leader to find other ways for your loved one to get to a place of worship.

Help set up a taxi, Lyft or Uber account on your loved one's smartphone, and show him or her how to use it if assistance is needed.

"Rather than saying, ‘Stop,’ say, ‘Let me help,’ “ Kennedy says.

Stacey Colino is an independent award-winning writer specializing in health, psychology and family issues. Her work has appeared in dozens of national magazines, websites and books.