Stories from Caregivers: Edward from CALIFORNIA
CA
Edward
FROM CALIFORNIA
My story is about the honor of taking care of my mom for 10 years, the last two, 24/7 due to running out of funds. She used to work in Real Estate, back in her home country, Nicarragua. Here, due to sight and language issues, worked as a Waitress sacrificing her life for her two sons. I on the other hand worked in the media and achieved acclaim in the Americas. Mom died on October 8, 2014 from Alzheimer's. She had come to die and was placed on hospice, but together we overcame the medical conventions and she lasted another 2 years. Family disappeared and at the end of life only came to claim the house, which originally had been in joint tenancy. I had gotten out of it, for the event that she would need a Reverse Mortgage. My brother unbeknownst to me, go it on it and it became a nightmare. At the high time, I was able to get her back to walking up to 16 blocks and took her on trips to NYC, MIA, Guadalajara, Mexico and Managua, Nicaragua to visit friends and relatives. Eventually, money ran out and I had to resort to Food Banks and transportation by friends, we fought a good battle and when I carried her coffin, I sensed great pride for a fight well fought. The family did everything under their power to destroy me, but I am still here. Now, of course facing IRS and Foreclosure, why? Because in the midst of taking care of her, and not being my specialty, (Caregiving is!) I lost track of the monies that just funneled out and did not keep track of it, nor did I file taxes or paperwork appropriately. Upon her death, I descended into an abyss of depression with concurrent constant neck and back, left shoulder pain. At last, I had the time to feel the pain In my body, as a result of having to change a no longer ambulatory body, five times a day or more. But, her smile of gratitude was worth it. A simple sip of Coke would make her smile light up the room. In fact, the day after her burial, was my birthday and I went to her tomb and emptied a Coke on the ground, as I drank mine. Having been so intimately close to mom over the years, in spite of the fights that are natural and the fact that I lived in several cities. I rarely go visit her at the Cemetery, as I feel her presence in my heart at all times and in spite of the present difficulties, I am so happy to have kept my word: that she would never step into a so called "Home". I kept my promise. Her plaque reads: Angel of mine, tenderness of my heart, to heaven your returned, to be "Always in my Heart." Her favorite song! Thank for reading this! Edward Cranshawz. God Bless You!
