Stories from Caregivers: Katrina from CALIFORNIA
CA
Katrina
FROM CALIFORNIA
I cared for my mother, Pamela B., over the past 5 1/2 years while her dementia became more eminent. During this time I worked to run a full-time business and cared for my mother full-time. I really wanted to give back to my mother who raised both my sister and I by herself working two jobs as long as I can remember. Legal secretary by day and hospital PBX operator by night and weekend. She worked tirelessly to ensure we never went without, and now it was my turn to provide for her. When the first signs of dementia became evident, both my husband, Andrew and I decided it was time to bring mom into our home to ensure she was cared for. Even though we overcame many challenges along the way, we found the time we had with mom allowed us to really learn what compassion really means. We also came to realize that the trivial things in life were just that, trivial. We also learned to let go and simply go with the flow of life as it came at us. Even though we watched my mother disappear before our eyes, she continued to thank us all the way. I remember she would grab my hand as I brought her lunch and thank me for caring for her. It broke my heart knowing that soon one day she wouldn't even be able to talk or form sentences without getting frustrated as she tried to remember simple words. Many people go about their daily lives complaining about this or getting frustrated at that, however, we came to realize how precious each day becomes especially when you become a full-time caregiver for a loved one. It's amazing what you remember when your caregiving days end and your loved one moves on without you. Even though we had challenges, I remember the moments when she made me laugh or we laughed together. One day we went to see her doctor, and when the doctor asked her why she was there she simply said, "I don't know I feel fine." So I responded in kind, "We are simply here to see you Dr. Bukont, because we missed you." At which point we began to laugh. Or the time when I heard singing coming from her room. When I walked in, I found her singing the itsy bitsy spider with hand movements showing the spider going up and down the pipe. It was such a carefree moment to see her revisit her childhood memories and hear her singing. It absolutely made my heart fill with joy and we laughed together as she continued to sing. It was a moment I will always cherish, especially since her passing this past year. My advice for caregivers is to ensure you find support for yourself, love the times you have, and know that you did your best.
