Stories from Caregivers: Deborah from GEORGIA
GA
Deborah
FROM GEORGIA
I am a retired RN with a PhD in Nursing Education. I taught nursing full-time for 24 years and currently teach online courses while in retirement. My aunt is the only sister of my mother who died in 1996 from ovarian cancer. Aunt Lucy came to stay with me for the last month of my mother's life and I feel it is now my turn to help care for her. Aunt Lucy has two children who are not able to help in her daily care so there is a full-time paid caregiver who provides her care. I have always been very close to my aunt so now that she is declining in health due to the combination of Parkinson's and Alzhiemer's, I feel the need to stay with her at least one week of every 4-6 weeks. Alzhiemers has robbed her mind and Parkinson's has robbed her body. Although she often just sleeps or stares ahead, she is still able to laugh at funny stories and remains a fairly savvy card player. It is during these brief glimpses of her more healthy self that I have the most fulfillment as her caregiver. Because of the combination of the two diseases and COPD she is really unable to do any of her physical care. So, we bathe, dress, toilet, and position her as best we can. The hospital bed has been a back saver! Her expenses were getting quite high as we have a paid caregiver and the expenses of personal care items for incontinence and wound care. Hospice services have decreased our costs significantly! Now we can focus on quality of care and resources. We have been blessed with the dedication of her paid caregiver in that she has routinely sought services such as Meals on Wheels and cleaning services through the Senior Center. Since my uncle died in December, my aunt has declined physically and mentally. Now, she barely moves her feet and legs and often has to be fed as she seems to have lost the understanding of how to feed herself. Seeing this decline is heartbreaking but knowing she has great services and care is a relief! During my times with her, I can provide her care and give the paid caregiver some relief. It is during these times that I am so aware of how much our elderly need younger people in their lives. We play UNO and laugh at stories from days long past, but our bond is strong and even in the times of blank stares, we remember our love as family. What do caregivers need? We need people to listen to our stories of love and strife. We need respite so we can regenerate as well. Education is key and thank you for what AARP does to support those of us blessed to live past the age of 55.
