Stories from Caregivers: Deborah from HAWAII
HI
Deborah
FROM HAWAII
Two years ago I was working part time and had just started my own home based Lactation Consultation business "Babies Breast Friend", shortly afterward my mother Shirley was hospitalized with pneumonia and had a respiratory arrest she was in a coma and on a ventilator with complications of hypothyroidism. It was touch and go for a while and I worked three days a week assisting moms in a lactation clinic seeing a few home clients a week and spending the remainder of the day and all night at the hospital with mom. It was stressful but I wanted my mom to have the best care the hospital was understaffed and she was not getting the care in the hospital she was supposed to get, its hard being a nurse and seeing shortcuts and patients being poorly cared for especially when one of those patients is your family, I used to help her roommate as well because call bells were never answered. Gradually mom got better but then my dad Bob had a few falls and was even admitted to the same room with mom for a week or so they were discharged to a nursing home to get physical therapy then eventually 6 months after mom's initial hospitalization both of them were home. I had to quit my part time job and move in with mom and dad, mom had another bout with pneumonia and a three month stay in hospital last year followed by rehab again and is now doing well at home under my care and supervision. Last August we found out dad had liver cancer but he unfortunately is not a surgical candidate so we started him on breastmilk smoothies from the generous donations from current and former clients and in March he had chemo injected into his tumor and started oral chemotherapy in April. His tumor is shrinking. He still works full time as a property manager and is 80 mom is 85. He rides the handivan to work now and I make him lunch every morning now the way my mom did for me growing up then I spend the rest of the day with Mom caring for her and the home. I have one sibling my brother Michael but he struggles with addiction and mental illness and is not competent to care for himself or my parents. I have help driving my parents to appointments from my husband David who I could not do this without, and he also drives me to see my breastfeeding clients when they book appointments. We miss living together but this is where I belong. My parents met and fell in love in 1957 they spent 7 hours together and wrote to each other for two years mom left her country and travelled to Italy to marry dad and they have been together ever since and it's my job to keep them together now. It's not easy being a caregiver, being a healthcare provider is helpful but it's a struggle no matter what your background is but I would not have it any other way. I want to make the time my parents have left easier for them and I want to spend as much time with them as I can.
