Stories from Caregivers: Susan from ILLINOIS
IL
Susan
FROM ILLINOIS
I'm Sue. I am retired and my husband, Pete and I will be celebrating our 50th wedding anniversary next month. For nine years my husband and I cared for my Father in Law, Joe Scimeca. Joe had been separated from his wife for over 45 years. Though never divorced, he was always sure to visit with his family and to provide financially for them. As adults we honored his privacy for years, but when Joe was 92 his lady friend died, which left him living alone. We began to help him and would make sure to go visit him often, a 60 mile drive one way. We wanted to allow him to live independently for as long as possible in his mobile home in a senior park. Helping him with his finances, paying bills, a once a week cleaning lady, coming up to take him for doctor visits and Catholic Charities for meals. But when he turned 95 things started to happen... falls, not shaving, unclean clothes, etc. We made the decision then that he should come live with us. We moved him into our split level home, with a cozy room and private bath. After a year or so we felt he was too isolated with just seeing us only, he needed people his own age to talk to. So we looked at over 13 Assisted Living centers for him. We found a private, very small (10 people) Christian run facility. Cozy, home like, with large room and bath.. very affordable. It was perfect. From 97 until he was almost 101 years old, he lived there. It became our second family. We loved it just as much as he. We spent a lot of time, almost daily, caring for him over those years but we never regretted it. He celebrated his 100th birthday there with a large party, local front page newspaper article, and 5 presidential greetings. Our only problem was that out of the three siblings we were left with his total care. Everything fell on our shoulders. Making sure that his finances were safe and that he continued to have the resources to live the way he was, wasn't easy for my husband who had to make sure his nest egg continued to grow. Lining up a caring doctor. Selling his trailer and car. Making sure he had a will, living trust and DNR. I think a little more "hands on help" from other family members would have been a big help but they were all living out of state. He was the third parent we cared for. But never this long or to such a extent. We learned a lot from this experience. He was our last parent alive. Joe died in 2013 one month before he turned 101 years old. We miss him, our extended second family and those golden days of caring for him. We did for him as we would want for ourselves.... God bless him.
