Stories from Caregivers: Jo Ann from INDIANA
IN
Jo Ann
FROM INDIANA
My story begins in 2010 when I had to become the caregiver for my mother and my father, two wonderful people that had done so much for so many. How could I not in turn give back for what they gave me, life. Daddy passed in 2013 and it was devastating to my blind 80 plus year old mother who was gradually descending into dementia. Recently, she broke her hip and that complicated matters. For a blind woman she was pretty independent in her home but now that all has changed. I am with her 24 hours a day seven days a week. I was not always so readily to turn my life over and dedicate it to nothing but mother's needs. I was resentful and I was feeling trapped. I had to remember the promise I made to my father on his death bed that I would take care of my mother. So, I am doing that out of an obligation of love. I made the mistake of not adding 'love' to the end of that statement to my father and he wept. The strong care giving man wept and it broke my heart! I had to clarify that statement by telling him it was for and out of love. I have to say that this position is not an enviable one but there are work arounds. If I want to go out on date night with my husband, well I take my mother and we make it a family affair, after all did they not do the same for me when I was growing up and needed them to be my caregiver? Some people say I am a saint to do this. I say no, I am a daughter that is willing to give the one thing in return for what I received and it costs me nothing. I give back the love she gave to me asking nothing in return but my love and respect. So, now on days she does not remember too good, I hold enough love for my mother for both of us.
