Stories from Caregivers: William from MASSACHUSETTS
MA
William
FROM MASSACHUSETTS
I am caregiver for a 95-year-old woman named Zoe who fortunately is in good health, generally speaking. She had a stroke two years ago, from which she has not fully recovered; her walking is uncertain and she is shaky. She also has the weakness and forgetfulness associated with aging. In this description I shall refer to her as "my friend,"� as indeed we have been friends for over three decades. I am now 81 years of age, but fortunately both my health and my strength remain quite good. We live in the same house with her daughter, but I am not related. I've often been on call essentially 24 hours a day, although I am rarely disturbed during hours of sleep. I am currently on duty seven days a week, available 14+ hours a day, although I am not called upon for nearly that many! Some days, of course, are more demanding than others. These are my responsibilities: In the morning, I clean up the kitchen from the evening before. Zoe eats two regular meals a day. Two or more days a week as requested, I prepare a bacon-and-egg brunch or an omelette; other days she prefers cold cereal. I prepare dinner every evening, doing all the cooking and serving and I keep her company at the table. I do all the dishes morning and night and keep the kitchen cleaned up. Late evening, I take her the glass of wine she enjoys daily and see that she has snacks, which I prepare in advance for her. I fix little things around the house - today it was the vacuum which had stopped working - and lift and move things, open packages and bottles with stuck tops - a myriad of little things that ease her days. We have a regular chat time every afternoon. Four or five times a week I have errands to do - I take care of all her needs, she does not go out. Once a week it's a grocery shopping at a store a half-hour away, as I cannot get locally the organic and special foods she prefers for her health. Other days it's local pharmacy, grocery store, post office, bank, and so on. She reads a great deal. It is my job to keep track of which authors she will read and which of their books she has read when, and what to order for her in advance from the library system. Then I pick up and return her books, weekly. The mail is delivered down a long, steep driveway, so I fetch and sort that regularly. I also put out the trash and recycling bins down the same drive, and retrieve them. I arrange to have the lawn cared for and take care of getting snow cleared. I also make all my friend's telephone calls, as she is hard of hearing: I call her hairdresser, her dentist, her very occasional doctor, and so on. When my friend has an appointment outside the house, I deliver her, help her in and out of the car, guard her steps, and guide where she goes - and wait for her. All I do for her is done with love. She is my friend.
