Stories from Caregivers: Marilyn from MARYLAND
MD
Marilyn
FROM MARYLAND
Mom had broken her hip and post rehab needed to be with us for safety reasons and during 3 1/2 years she progressed with anxiety and CHF, COPD, PAD to need more care, help with oral meds (pill reminder refilling), eventually amputation of one leg and foot wound on the other foot so she needed help to transfer from surface to surface. At the start, I was working 3 days a week and my husband was at home to provide companionship and help with lunch. She appreciated being with us for the dinner meal during the early days. I think anxiety and loneliness are a protective mechanism for the elderly, not a deliberate manipulative technique. As her diabetic complications accelerated she became more depressed and was treated with meds that increased her appetite for sugary snacks and decreased her interest in healthful food which caused tension between us since it meant her foot ulcers wouldn't heal. She was trying to be independent but would fall 1-2 times a month (more than 30 falls during the last couple years of her life). She was incapable of getting back up and it would require help from 2 people to get up due to contracted knees (this was due to arthritic pain she didn't treat). We live in a rural area and I would have to call neighbors to help if my husband wasn't home. Some falls were preventable , she would get up to the commode in stockings and they always caused falls so I had to take them away from her so she only had gripper socks available (good hint for caretakers). I tried all sorts of water cups to prevent dehydration and spilling accidents. She liked the ones with a straw the most so she didn't have to tip them up. She got to the point she was only interested in finger foods and dips or bite sized foods (beef tips from Hormel). Costco sells puppy pads which are great for preventing linen changing. There is also a 'transfer sheet' that makes sliding a patient much easier. It is super slick and can be cut into several pieces for various needs. My brain has more info, just needs to be jogged loose. I stayed with her 24/7 for the last several months, even when sleeping. An eye shade was helpful for me and a packed "go" bag for hospital visits so she had things she needed and I had books/food/hobbies for me. Humor is important due to the frustration all eventually feel.
