Stories from Caregivers: Debbie from MAINE
ME
Debbie
FROM MAINE
So here I am, 59 years old and caring for my 62 year old husband who had Alzheimer's. When he was diagnosed 5 years ago, my hopes and dreams for our future came crashing around us. My life felt perfect. We own our home, have 2 fantastic married children and we love their spouses as if they were our own children. Frosting on the cake are 4 PERFECT grandchildren. So now what? Our perfect life soon became quite imperfect. The new normal was to expect a new normal almost daily! My husband Roland was and is my first and only love, so there was never any question as to whether I would be his primary caretaker. The surprise came when I realized all that came with this insidious disease. I knew memory would be an issue, but little did I know that my strong rock of a husband would lose so much of himself so quickly. My role has turned from just a caregiver to a complete household manager. I know how to use every tool in Roland's toolbox. Yes, I still consider it his toolbox. I am just privileged to get to use it. I have done carpentry, a little plumbing, in short all of the household maintenance. Bathing and shaving him were on my expected list but I didn't expect it to come so soon. All that being said, the most challenging of all is something I never saw coming. Roland no longer recognizes his reflection and believes he has people following him around. He believes there is multiple people because he sees himself with different shirts, hats, sometimes glasses-sometimes not. I have had to remove all mirrors from our home as he gets very agitated at times. Well low and behold, our reflections appear everywhere. Windows, car mirrors, anything shiny. So we can never escape it. Even with all that, I would never have changed a thing. He is still the love of my life!
