Stories from Caregivers: Fannie from MISSOURI
MO
Fannie
FROM MISSOURI
I am an only child at this point, because my brother died at 62. So this leaves the responsibility of my mother in my care. My mother's name is Mary and she is 96 years old. I have the responsibility of her medicine, doctor's appointments, daily meals, and any other thing that she needs to have done. I have someone to come in to help with the cleaning and other chores two days a week. I feel overwhelmed by this responsibility some days and then other days I feel blessed to still have my mother. My nephew recently moved in with her and that is some help, because it allows her the chance to stay in her own home. She still thinks that she can do a lot of things that she can't physically do anymore. That leaves her feeling helpless and that she is a burden on me. It takes a lot to keep her involved with other people so she will not be so isolated. I take her to the YMCA two days a week for some classes as well as for the socialization. If I go out of town, I have to have someone stay with her to ensure that she is okay while I am gone. Sometimes she will make comments like I go out of town too much (I really don't) but I know that it is important for me to take care of myself while I care for her. I think sometimes it is a little resentment, because I used to take her with me when I went out of town. I know she misses going, but on doctors orders he has suggested that I not take her anymore. I pray a lot for the Lord to give me strength to take care of her and to have patience in taking care of her. I never want to hurt her feelings about anything her or sound harsh to her when I am talking to her. It is a day to day just trying to balance everything. I am a retired Social Worker and some days wonder when things will be the way I want retirement to be for me. Then when I think those thoughts I feel guilty and that I am being selfish. So it is just a range of emotions at any given time. Having lunch with friends and finding some venues to enjoy myself is extremely important and keeps me sane.
