Stories from Caregivers: Diana from NEW JERSEY
NJ
Diana
FROM NEW JERSEY
My name is Diana. Whenever I am asked the question what do I like to do for fun, I struggle with the answer. Do I try and make up answers with things someone my age likes to do or do I tell the truth? When I was 16 years old my father was diagnosed with a psychiatric illness. And not in your typical go to the doctor and get a formal diagnosis type of way. I remember sitting in my statistics class and the phone in the classroom rings, the teacher answers it, gets off and says "Diana they need you down in the administrative office." Now I was a quiet kid who never got in trouble. So between the kids booing me and being petrified that I did something without realizing it, I was not prepared for what they were about to tell me. "Your father is in the hospital you need to go home right now." I rushed home to find my mother sobbing. My father had gone to the police station and told them that he had committed a terrible crime. Thankfully, they realized that he wasn't in the correct mind frame and brought him to the hospital. That was literally the beginning of the end. After that episode he was hospitalized 5 more times throughout the years. Years of being on cocktails of heavy duty anti-psychotic medications have taken such heavy tolls on his physical and mental health. His friends and family have all given up on him, not me. I gave up a lot of my adolescent years, dreams of going to Rutgers University and decided to go to Community College to be able to live at home with him (and my mother) and care for him. Is it extremely difficult at times? Yes, but I just don't have it in me to put him into a nursing home. Daily activities of life are becoming much more difficult. He has no interest in personal hygiene. It is a struggle/fight everyday to get him to shower and change his clothes. He is extremely unsteady on his feet so now either myself or my mother has to bathe him. His muscles are wasting away because he refuses to be active, just lays on the couch or in bed all day everyday. It is so painful to watch my father who was so active and lively turn into this elderly frail man who, some days, I don't even recognize anymore. Even though I have given up so much of my life though, I wouldn't be able to have it any other way. He is my dad, he cared for me when I needed it, and now it is his time to be cared for.
