Stories from Caregivers: Debi from OHIO
OH
Debi
FROM OHIO
Mom passed away in November of 2007. For the last six years of her life we were pretty much inseparable. The last year of her life she required 24 hour care and my father, my brother, his partner, my husband and I shared her care. I have absolutely no regrets. I am so glad I spent that time with her. As the end got nearer and my heart got more heavy with the knowledge she was leaving us she had a clear moment and said "please take care of your Father for me. I'm good now but he might not be." Still takes my breath away remembering how much love and concern was in her voice -- not for herself but for Dad! I owned my own business at the time and it ran 24/7 but I found a way to be there 7 days awake sometimes more than 20 hours a day. We took turns being at her side each time and there were several that she went into the hospital. surrounding her with love and concern and support was a big task to complete especially when she became confused and sicker. For several months we were able to do her dialysis at home; when we had to go to a clinic for it she was so frightened that for hours one of us had to be with her to encourage her to fight through it. still breaks my heart and after it was over I wondered how we managed to come out healthy ourselves but we did and none of us have regrets. Even with o sleep one of us was there for her and having checked on "care centers" we knew she deserved everything we could give --- not strangers, her family needed to be there. No one gave us much information; we plugged along finding what we could by use of the internet and eventually nurses who became familiar with our situation. I just wanted to share that as heart-breaking and gut-wrenching and exhausting as the task may be, it can never measure up to the heart break of regrets. I've offered help to other folks who are now going through this with parents; sometimes it's just a couple of hours of sitting beside a loved one so someone can catch some sleep or do the grocery shopping. We need to help each other; we need to be there for the next person going through what we made it through. I miss her everyday and would do it again but I won't have that chance so chin up and heart full I did do what I could while I could.
