Stories from Caregivers: Mary from PENNSYLVANIA
PA
Mary
FROM PENNSYLVANIA
After a 20 plus year awful marriage I got divorced and met the kindest Man I have ever met. He was quiet and loving and the hardest working man. Two years later we married and I had never been happier. Fast forward 4 years and Ralph started to be forgetful. Not a little, but getting lost on the way home from work and locking himself out of the house constantly. Then we went on vacation to a place we had gone yearly since we met and he had no idea where we were and said he had never been there before. Fast forward 6 months of worries and testing, he has Lewy Body Dementia and can't drive and can't work.Overnight I became the only person financially responsible for us plus had to care for my husband. Delays in getting any kind of help and Ralph's inability to answer a phone, getting lost, and forgetting to take medicine I left out, I had to quit working. I didn't care about anything but his care. He couldn't get dressed without help, and all his joints were stiff. He got lost in our home and eventually started seeing things. We lost our home and used up both of our 401Ks, and eventually when he couldn't stand up straight I had to place him in a nursing home. Ralph had been sick 10 plus years, and in a nursing home for almost 5, and can't do anything for himself. He doesn't know me, does not talk, and has been on a liquid diet for 2 years. My health started to deteriorate. Last year was our 15th wedding anniversary, but I was the only one who knew or cared. Being a caregiver an advocate an a spouse is exhausting and a job I was not prepared for. Our life was cut short way too soon. And no social organization ever helped us. I miss my life, and I miss my love. I miss the life we had planned.
