Stories from Caregivers: Rachael from TEXAS
TX
Rachael
FROM TEXAS
My first caregiving experience started when my older brother Jerry was shot in the head. I was 21 and he was 24 at the time. When he first came home from about 6 months in hospitals he still had chest tubes (having contracted pneumonia in intensive care unit and had 1/2 a lung surgically removed) and could not walk, clean himself, etc. I took care of him in the daytime while my mother worked and I worked at night. Jerry is much more capable now, he still can't walk well, falls often and needs me to do the cleaning and shopping for him. He has never recovered from the effects of the brain injury in that he has the mentality of a 12 year old in a 6'2" 200 lb. man's body. He can be very challenging to be around, has a terrible temper and thinks he knows everything. He flies off the handle anytime someone disagrees with him. In April of last year my dad passed away, I had been helping take care of him with diabetes and COPD. After his passing I moved from my house to my mom's to help her take care of the place and to add my small income to her SS check, because she lost my dad's check and would have to lose their home without more income. I work as a caregiver in a sort of assisted living monastery for old nuns. Bathing, cleaning rooms, entertaining them with games, cooking and doing laundry and staying over night in a particular woman's room as she is afraid to be alone. My mom is 82 and very capable compared to most her age, but she does not have the strength and stamina to take care of her home and the lawn and chickens and fences, etc. She had polio as a child and it has weakened her. She now takes many pills a day for heart problems, etc. So my week consist of: Saturday, go to work at the monastery from 8am - 6pm. come home, make dinner, clean, do outdoor chores until it is dark. Sunday, wake at 6 am, do outdoor chores, then make breakfast, do dishes, light house work and get to work by 12 noon and stay until 6 am Monday morning. I drive home, do normal chores, cook and clean, then nap about 3 hours and go back to work at 6 pm Monday night until 6 am Tuesday morning. Then I drive home, do the usual and get to bed around 10 pm. Wednesday morning, I drive to the house we have for my brother, do his shopping, clean his house and do laundry. Thursday, do chores at my mom and I's house, Friday the same, then back to work. I have no life outside taking care of other people. I love them all and really don't resent it, but I am tired and always falling behind in getting everything done and feeling like I never do enough for any one individual. Guilt is present all the time, money is always short. I also have 2 adult sons, neither are around much, I want them to have their own lives and not get stuck in the kind of existence I have. I only make $10 an hour and the car is always breaking down. I feel like it is all going to crash around me at any moment.
