Stories from Caregivers: Kimberly from WASHINGTON
WA
Kimberly
FROM WASHINGTON
My neighbor and very dear friend, Lunelle, was like a grandmother to my children and was a mentor and role model for me. She had worked her entire life as a teacher and school principal, and was a widow with no children of her own. We were close friends from the minute our family moved next door to her. She was a wonderful role model to my children, and a voracious reader and supporter of the Seattle sports teams and the arts--especially the opera. I was a young wife and mother, trying to juggle my teaching career and graduate school while raising three boys. For the first ten years of our relationship, she was spry and sharp as a tack. We spent holidays together, and she was the grandmotherly figure to my children that they did not have living locally. She was a brilliant gardener, excellent baker, and marvelous storyteller. She could not have been a bigger part of our family if she were biologically related. As she aged into her 90's, Lu began to slow down quite a bit and was significantly impeded by her aggressive arthritis. Luckily for me, my children were in their teens and off to college by this time, so I had more free time to help her with daily chores and errands. She gave up her car, and I did her grocery shopping for her. My boys had their driver's licenses by then, and were usually able to transport her to her medical appointments and church services. She and I made a point of continuing to attend the Seattle Opera, but she usually gave her Seahawks and Mariners game tickets to my sons. Her eyesight was going, but her hearing stayed sharp. She could continue to enjoy music, but not the sports events. Also, the distance required to walk at the stadiums was just too much for her. When she turned 96, her body was rapidly failing. She had grown quite thin, and was almost blind. She had no interest in leaving the house at all, even for the opera. We found a marvelous neighborhood stay-at-home mom who could spend time with Lu each day while I was teaching. She came on weekdays to make a meal, do some light housework, and make sure that Lu took her pills on time. I spent the evenings caring for her and reading to her, and spent the weekends cleaning her house and doing laundry. She had very little energy, but still had her marvelous sense of humor and interest in the world around her. After a year with this arrangement, she had a series of small strokes. Her doctor advised us to move her into an assisted facility so she could receive a higher level of care. We agonized over which plants and sentimental items to take along in order to recreate a sense of home for her. I set up her new apartment for her, putting her most beloved items where she could easily find them with her limited vision. Unfortunately, Lu only lasted a few months in the new environment. My sons and I visited as much as possible, as did the other caregiver she had grown very close to during the time they were together. We lost Lu, peacefully in her sleep, three months after she had moved into the new care center. The boys and I always keep her memory with us, especially at Christmas, and cherish the few items of hers that we still have: some Christmas ornaments and a few teacups. None of us will ever forget her generous spirit, love of life, and sense of humor. We were truly blessed to have her in our extended family for all those years, and know that she is with us still during important family events.
