Long-Distance Caregiving: 5 Key Steps to Providing Care From Afar

2. Create a team

While you can handle plenty of important tasks remotely, such as paying bills and ordering prescriptions, you'll need others to be your eyes, ears and sometimes hands. It's natural for long-distance caregivers to feel guilty about delegating certain jobs, but don't try to do it all, especially if your loved one has more serious or complicated health issues.

• Build your team. Beyond medical professionals, it's important to reach out to friends, family and community groups to form a network of caregiving helpmates. Remember to consider your loved one part of the team.
  
  
• Determine roles. Ask what tasks, large or small, team members are willing and able to do. A neighbor might be happy to cut the lawn. Another family member might volunteer to drive to doctor appointments.
  
  
• Keep a roster. Compile a list of contact info for everyone and keep it up to date. The list should include hired helpers such as a housecleaner or dog walker. Be sure they know how to reach you as well.

3. Find a local coordinator

A local care manager who can supply local knowledge and help with caregiving logistics often can be useful.

One option is to hire a reputable caregiving professional, often called a geriatric care manager, aging life care manager or eldercare navigator or coordinator. These professionals, often licensed nurses or social workers, also can be valuable mediators or sounding boards when family members disagree on care decisions or you're facing tough choices, such as whether it's no longer safe for your loved one to live at home.

• Verify credentials. Look for professional certifications, for example from the National Academy of Certified Care Managers, the Commission for Case Manager Certification or the National Association of Social Workers. Consider how long a person has been in the field, and request references. The Aging Life Care Association, a professional membership body, has a search tool to help you find licensed eldercare professionals in your area.
  
  
• Discuss availability and areas of expertise. Certified care managers offer a wide range of services, from a few hours’ consultation to develop a care plan to fully managing your loved one's care. That could include hiring and overseeing in-home caregivers and interacting with medical professionals, accountants and people with power of attorney.
  
  
• Consider cost. Care managers typically charge $50 to $200 an hour. Medicare does not cover this service, nor do most health insurance plans. But if you can afford it, an experienced manager may be able to save your family time, money and stress with even a brief consultation. 

4. Stay in the loop

Establish ways to communicate regularly with your local team and loved one, whether through organization apps, group emails or social tools like FaceTime and Skype

• Make use of technology. With your loved one's permission — or the legal proxy's — you can put tools in place such as video monitors, wearable activity trackers, remote door locks to prevent wandering (if the care recipient has dementia), and even electronic pill dispensers that can notify you if someone has taken the prescribed medications.
  
  
• Find ways to coordinate. Set up an email group you can use to keep everyone up-to-date. Online scheduling tools such as Lotsa Helping Hands make it easy for you and your team to stay current on who's doing what and when.
  
  
• Look into workplace leave policies. You may be eligible for unpaid time off from work for caregiving under the federal Family and Medical Leave Act. If not, see if you can arrange to work remotely when you leave town for a caregiving visit.

5. Make the most of visits

Nothing replaces an in-person visit. When you can manage one, come with a list of things you need to know or discuss.

Try to stretch the visit so you can spend time with your loved one and also schedule key face-to-face appointments related to his well-being. Sitting down to chat with someone is far more personal and revealing than a phone call ever can be.

• Meet current and potential service providers. You may want to interview potential home aides or housecleaners, or meet with social workers or other professionals involved in your loved one's care to discuss any concerns.
  
  
• Note where new help is needed. Is a faucet dripping or the lawn overgrown? Does your loved one appear to be having trouble doing certain chores, such as laundry or grocery shopping? Help with tasks while you're there, but also evaluate whether you need to find someone local to assist day-to-day.
  
  
• Look for signs of abuse. Ask to see your loved one's checking account and look for abnormalities, and watch for red flags of physical or emotional mistreatment, such as bruises, unexplained injuries or an abrupt change in personality. Be very concerned if your loved one mentions someone you've never met who visits often and has been “helpful.”
  
  
• Have fun together. While you might have many practical tasks to check off your list, it's important to spend quality time with your loved one, who may have decreased mobility and feel isolated. Set aside a few hours to go out to eat or to the movies, or invite neighbors over for a potluck dinner.

Editor's note: This article, published on October 30, 2019, has been updated with 2020 information.