AARP Hearing Center
When people take DNA tests and enter their results into databases containing millions of records, they have the opportunity to connect with long-lost family members. The results can be delightful — or shocking.
Some people find distant relatives in other countries or reconnect with those they have lost touch with. But for others, the outcome can be unexpected: half siblings they didn’t know existed or evidence showing a father isn’t a biological relation. These findings can reveal long-held secrets about extramarital affairs or unplanned pregnancies, and can create emotional turmoil for everyone involved.
“When you take a DNA test, you have to be prepared for answers you want — and answers you don’t like,” says David McDonald, president of the Association of Professional Genealogists.
With more than 26 million DNA samples in public databases on Ancestry, 23andMe and other services, it is easier than ever to find matches with relatives. These online platforms allow users to conduct their own searches and message others to reconnect or make first contact with distant or previously unknown family members.
DNA kits and revelations
When Kasi Mireles-Taylor, 47, of Aurora, Colorado, checked her results four years ago, she was surprised to see her DNA matched to a half brother she didn’t know she had. The results confirmed a family rumor that her mother had vehemently denied until her death, Mireles-Taylor says: that her mother had had a dalliance while her parents were separated, with a man who was Mireles-Taylor’s biological father, but not the father who raised her.
Mireles-Taylor decided to tell her father right away, in case he had submitted his own DNA sample in a kit that she had purchased for him. “I didn’t want him to find out the same way I did, with a cheerful dialogue box,” she says.
She broke the news as gently as she could. “I said: ‘I love you. I will always love you. You’re my father, but we’re not biologically related,’ ” she says. He responded that he had long suspected that Mireles-Taylor’s mother had conceived her with another man during a marital separation.
“Then he said, ‘Nothing changes,’ ” she says. “What he meant was, ‘Nothing changes about my love for you.’”