How Can I Convince My Partner to Get a Hearing Test?

I’ve noticed my partner can’t hear very well, both at home and when we’re out. When I indicate concern, he just says, “You’re mumbling.” How can I convince him to get tested?

I’d begin by asking your partner if he hears other people clearly. If he responds with something like “Yes, I go to the office all day and hear everyone else,” then maybe he really can’t hear you when you’re talking. There are some people who really do mumble or are what I call “low talkers.” And sometimes at home, we try to talk to someone in another room and they aren’t listening. It’s a two-way street. If somebody says, “My partner cannot hear me,” there are things that both of you can do to fix that.

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I suggest you try engaging intentionally. By that, I mean to look your partner in the eyes and be clear with your message. This is a technique my wife and I use. For example, she’ll say “Adam, I have something important to tell you.” Now she’s got my attention and continues. “We have dinner tomorrow night at 7 p.m. You cannot be late.” I’ll say, “All right. I’ve heard you.”

On the other hand, your partner might very well be hard of hearing. About 1 in 3 people ages 65 to 74 and nearly half of those over 75 have diminished hearing. The reason some people get angry when you ask about their hearing is because they’re embarrassed. They’re upset. They feel like this is them getting older. So it’s important to approach your partner in a context that he might appreciate.

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If I was speaking to my dad when he was alive and practicing medicine, I might say, “Pop, I’ll try to do a better job of not mumbling. However, I’m really worried about you in the office. God forbid you miss something.” That shows him that I’m going to work on the problem he identified and motivates him to get his hearing tested because he would never want something bad to happen at work.

Hearing tests are really important because we know for a fact that people who can’t hear well often become disengaged. Lack of hearing can turn into isolation.