What Caregivers Need to Know About Using FMLA to Care for a Family Member

Covered employers include:

• All local, state and federal public agencies, and local school systems
• All private employers who employ 50 or more workers for at least 20 workweeks in the current or previous calendar year 

Covered employees include:

• Those who have worked at least 12 months and for at least 1,250 hours during the 12 months prior to the leave
• Those who work at a location where the employer has 50 or more employees within 75 miles; not those who work at smaller, distant outposts of a bigger company

Mason says a 2023 study by the National Partnership for Women & Familes showed that FMLA doesn’t cover 44 percent of U.S. workers. Those who work for small companies, who do not work enough hours or who have not worked for their employer long enough have no guarantee their jobs will still be there when they return. These restrictions impact  “disproportionately workers of color and women and low-income workers,” she says. 

How much leave can I take?

In most circumstances, FMLA covers 12 weeks of leave in a year.

If you’re caring for a covered military service member with a serious injury or illness, you can take up to 26 weeks.

Your leave can be intermittent;  you don’t have to take all your weeks off in a row. Or it can involve a reduced schedule, such as taking regular hours or days off to take a loved one to treatment or relieve another caregiver.

How will taking leave affect my job?

When you take leave under FMLA, your job is protected. That means you keep the same position or a nearly identical one at the same pay, according to the labor department.

“You are protected, for instance, from having your hours decreased,” Bellesorte says. “Certainly, you are protected from being fired.”

Also, you keep any employee health insurance during the leave.

What if I need to care for someone not covered by FMLA?

Because FMLA uses such a narrow definition of family — children, spouses and parents —some states have extended family leave benefits to workers caring for grandparents, in-laws, domestic partners and others. If your workplace has an Employee Resource Group for caregivers it may have advice about local benefits.

Others states have expanded the definition of family to include anyone you’re related to or close to, including “chosen or extended family,” says Jenna Shankman, a policy specialist at the nonprofit Family Caregiver Alliance.

Can I get paid on leave?

Under federal law, your employer isn’t required to pay you. “That’s a huge barrier to people taking time when they need it,” Mason says. Caregiving advocates are working to change that with proposed federal legislation.

In the meantime, there are ways for some caregivers to get paid. “If you have other sick leave or maybe vacation or PTO (paid time off), you may be able to use that to kind of cobble together some pay while you’re out on FMLA,” she explains.

The labor department says your employer may require you to use any available paid leave during your FMLA-protected leave.

But in a growing number of states, family leave is paid. Nine states (California, Connecticut, Massachusetts, New Jersey, New York, Rhode Island, Washington, Colorado and Oregon) plus the District of Columbia now have mandatory paid family leave programs. Soon four more states (Maryland, Delaware, Minnesota and Maine) will join them.

How do I request family leave?

There’s no “magic word” to use, Mason says. Your employer should have guidance posted where everyone can see it, like on a break room wall, she says.

Try to give 30 days notice. FMLA rules say you should let your employer know at least 30 days in advance when possible or as soon as you or a family member experiences a medical emergency .

Timing leave can be tricky for those caring for someone “for years on end,” Shankman says.  Ideally, you should let your employer know that you might need leave sometime in the future, but not everyone will feel comfortable with that, she says.

Keep the discussion brief. When you make the request, keep the discussion brief, Bellesorte suggests. You might say, “My partner needs to have surgery and I need to care for him,” or “I need some time to take my parent to rehab.”

Submit forms. While employers can ask for a medical provider to certify the need for a leave, you can ask them not to share details of your loved one’s symptoms or diagnosis, Bellesorte says. If you need medical certification, get the form (the Department of Labor has forms here) to the provider as soon as possible to avoid delays in your leave request.

Take notes of all discussions. As you go through the process, Mason says, keep records and notes of your discussions with your employer. In case there’s a problem, “it’s good to just be prepared.”

Where to get help and more information

If you think your employer is violating your rights under FMLA by refusing an appropriate leave or demoting you for taking leave, visit the U.S. Department of Labor’s Wage and Hour Division website. Or call toll-free at 866-487-9243, Monday to Friday, 8 a.m. to 4:30 p.m. local time.

Other resources:

• The labor department has answers to frequently asked questions about FMLA.
• Details about state paid leave programs are available from the National Partnership for Women & Families and the Bipartisan Policy Center.
• Cities with additional laws protecting paid sick time and family leave are listed at the website of Family Values @Work.

This article was rewritten with new expert sources in 2024.

Kim Painter is a contributing writer who specializes in health and psychology. She frequently writes for AARP's Staying Sharp and previously worked as a health reporter and columnist at USA Today.