The Big Reason I Decided to Have 5 Kids

Don’t get me wrong, everyone is fed, clothed, educated, loved and goes on trips for ice cream or a new pair of shoes. But each child individually is not getting what they always want on demand, a culture that is easy to fall into in today’s parenting world. 

With less of a focus on just one person, we are able to cultivate a team mentality as a family, with a group mission.  Some days, the kids are on board with that — others, I’m sure they wish they were only children like we’d wished for big families as kids.

The fine line between fun and chaos

It’s loud in our house — like, really loud. Some people don’t like it, and that’s okay. But my kids are having a whole lot of fun growing up. They always have a friend, they run outside playing football games in the front yard and having a roommate instead of their own room is growing on them. 

Sometimes, there’s a fine line between fun and total chaos. It’s a line we will work to hold every day until they calm down. Which will be never. Until then, we enjoy the rare moments of silence and lean into the crazy, hoping that our kids will grow up remembering it fondly.

We are all being stretched

Parenting five kids, and having many siblings, isn’t always easy or comfortable. It’s a setup that stretches each of the seven of us in different ways. It’s likely why our own parents, aunts and uncles would just shake their heads, somewhat amused, somewhat concerned, each time we announced another pregnancy. My own mother would (half) jokingly say, “If you have any more than this one, I’m NOT watching them.” Which of course was never true.

As parents, my husband and I are increasing our stamina and patience, our appreciation for small wins and just how essential a seriously awesome cup of coffee can be. The kids are being stretched too, to accommodate the vastly different personalities of their siblings, for example. Stretching is hard sometimes, but it’s good for all of us.

And finally…legacy

This is the biggest and most profound reason of all. Like a country song, if I ask myself what I’d leave behind if today was my last day, my immediate thought would be my kids. Having five kids has given me a sense of purpose, meaning and legacy that I could never find through work, travel or even my marriage alone. 

It is a generational, timeless gift, to imagine how they will take their childhood lessons and move out into the world, building their own lives well into the future. At least, that’s what I tell myself when I’m changing my tenth diaper for the day or finding an actual raw potato in the crib.