13 Things You Should (Almost) Never Put in a Text

There are exceptions, of course. If the recipient and the person who has died have a bit more distance, it might be OK to pass along the news in a text, perhaps with details about memorial services. Apply common sense and consider how you would feel getting such news via text.

2. Don’t end a relationship. Breaking up with someone via text is harsh, cowardly, cold and inconsiderate. The dreaded phrase “It’s not you, it’s me” might come off even worse in a text.

“I do think for the most part breakups should be over the phone or in person, as best they can be,” Post says. “At the same time, letting someone you’ve been on two Tinder dates with know that you’re not going to see them again is perfectly fine.”

3. Don’t express unrequited feelings of love, the flip side of No. 2. Don’t pour it on too thick, especially if your relationship is not exactly on solid ground.

4. Go easy on ALL CAPS. Sorry, but YOU’RE SHOUTING AND IT’S RUDE! If you’re really that angry, perhaps you should calm down before sending texts of any kind.

5. Avoid sarcasm. Beyond words, we usually can tell when people are being sarcastic in person by reading the expression on their faces and the tone of their voices. Absent the social cues, conveying sarcasm or, for that matter, irony is a lot more difficult in a text, even with visual aids such as smiley faces, winks and colorful emojis meant to impart a certain mood or idea.

That old spelling tip about ‘assume’ applies

6. Understand emojis. Speaking of emojis, some may have a hidden meaning or slang. That eggplant emoji 🍆 probably isn't really referring to the garden vegetable, nor is the peach 🍑 just Georgia’s favorite fruit. While we’re at it, this smiling swirl of brown 💩 isn't soft-serve chocolate ice cream. Avoid embarrassment and search Google to decode meanings of these and other emojis that are perhaps a bit spicier than what you have in mind. They’re frequently not G-rated.

7. Be wary of abbreviations. Most people know LOL as shorthand for “laughing out loud,” or “NP” for “no problem.” But TBH (to be honest), it could become a problem when you appear to be trying too hard, using abbreviations without much thought or fully understanding their intent. If so, don’t be surprised to get a response with SMH (shaking my head) or worse, STFU, which you’ll have to look up on your own.

8. Don’t write an opus. No one wants to read War and Peace as a text. Keep the message concise, so it’s not answered with a TL;DR (too long; didn’t read).

9. Watch typos. “It” is different than “In,” and we all make mistakes texting on the fly. But if you’re communicating with an employer, client or customer, take an extra second to read the message before hitting Send. You don’t want to leave a sloppy impression.

That said, given the generally casual nature of texting, the traditional rules of punctuation often don’t apply. You can find plenty of chatter in social media about how adding a period at the end of a sentence within a text may come across as off-putting or negative.

10. Don’t complain about your boss. What did we tell you earlier about sending a text to the wrong person? If you value your job, assume your words can and will be used against you.

No texting ill of others, also true IRL (in real life)

11. Don’t spread gossip. A reprise: What did we just mention in No. 10? Whomever you’re gossiping about may see it, too.

12. Leave out personal data. Texts, which aren't a secure means of communicating, should not include your birth date, financial account numbers, passwords, Social Security number and other personal details that crooks could use to spread malware or steal your identity. Even if screenshots are blocked in secure messaging apps such as Signal, Telegram and WhatsApp, a recipient can take a picture of your info with another phone.

13. Consider political ramifications. You’re passionate about political issues and may justifiably attempt to persuade friends to join your cause. Just keep in mind that your views could go viral. If you have second thoughts about having your opinions splattered across social media or published somewhere for all to see, avoid putting them in a text.

This story, originally published May 22, 2022, has been updated with new information.