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After Brian Flores failed to land the head coaching job with the New York Giants in 2020, he sued the team and the National Football League, saying the Giants held a sham interview with him merely to comply with a league mandate requiring them to meet with a minority candidate.
Flores, who is Black and was born to Honduran immigrants, was head coach of the Miami Dolphins for three seasons before being fired in January of that year. He alleged that the Giants had no intention of hiring him, citing a text message he received from New England Patriots coach Bill Belichick congratulating him on getting the Giants gig — three days before Flores was set to interview.
Belichick allegedly told Flores in a later text that he had meant to send the first text to a different Brian — Buffalo Bills assistant Brian Daboll, who was hired Jan. 28. Both Brians had worked as assistant coaches for Belichick in New England. The Giants and the league have denied Flores’ claims. Flores is now an assistant coach with the Minnesota Vikings.
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You need not follow football or the ongoing litigation to grasp a couple of important takeaways: Make sure any texts you send are pointed to your intended recipient. Be equally cautious about what you put in those messages.
What seems private might not stay secure
Texts can be copied, screenshot, shared and, depending on the messaging system, may lack encryption or other stringent measures to keep everything private. Moreover, the contents may be inappropriate or misconstrued.
So what should you never include in a text? The answers aren’t always simple.
“From an etiquette perspective, it really depends,” says author and etiquette authority Lizzie Post, the great-great-granddaughter of Emily Post and copresident of the Emily Post Institute. “To say, ‘Never’ for everything feels quite final, doesn’t it? And I am sure there are many different caveat situations out in the world.”
In no particular order, here are 13 things you should (almost) never put in a text, or at least consider before including them.
Would you want to read certain things in a message?
1. Don’t report a death. This is especially true if the deceased is someone close to the recipient. A text is no substitute for delivering devastating news face to face or over the phone.
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