What Does Romance Mean to You During a Pandemic?

Christopher Knoll, 62

Courtesy of Christopher Knoll

Teacher

Holland, Michigan

"Having survived a Charlie Brown childhood of Valentine disappointments, I have felt driven as an adult to create a “perfect” Valentine's Day experience. Of course, this entailed giving gifts of cards, jewelry, flowers, chocolate — once even some chocolate flowers — along with romantic dinners and movies. But in recent years, I have discovered that there is indeed a better way to celebrate Valentine's Day. First, I acknowledge the fact that this one day is truly no more special or romantic than any other day spent in the company of the person who shares her love with me. Romance is the light in the eyes that reveals the heart. I typically do the cooking and my wife bakes — awesome teamwork in a small kitchen. We spend some time laughing at each other's bad jokes and contemplating the life we've built together."

Pam Sherman, 58

Writer and leadership consultant

Rochester, New York

"My husband and I have been together for 37 years. This year, through the pandemic, we've learned that the greatest gift we both received was time. On March 12, we went from traveling every single week for work to not traveling at all — and that has been a huge gift. I feel now more than ever that I understand the meaning of the word ‘cherish’ when I lie next to my husband. For Valentine's Day, which I've always disdained as a made-up holiday, my favorite gift has always been doing nothing, in defiance of expectations. Not fighting for a restaurant reservation. No $5 cards. Instead, we give each other the gift of doing whatever the other one wants. This year, for me, this means changing any light bulbs that need changing. And for him, it will be sitting together and watching ‘his’ TV shows — lots of episodes of Chopped.

Dave Tolliver, 50

Courtesy of Dave Tolliver

Entertainer

Atlanta, Georgia

Romance to me means that at any given time, in the moment, you'll do whatever it takes to make the other person feel good. If a person doesn't feel good about themselves, how can they make you happy? For Valentine's Day, I wish that I could allow my wife to retire and do whatever she wants. And then we'd go on a trip. We'd go to a nude beach and walk around and jump out of a plane and just conquer every fear we have.

Peter Lawson Jones, 68

Attorney, consultant, actor, playwright, former elected official

Shaker Heights, Ohio

My definition of what's romantic has evolved over time, based on my age and circumstances, and it has evolved during the course of my marriage of 35 years. Certainly at one stage of life, love is much more intensely physical and sexual. Though sensual touch remains important, once you become a caregiver and more demands are placed on you, romantic expression changes — though it can become even sturdier and more robust. That my wife and I share a similar but not perfectly synchronized worldview keeps things interesting and has allowed our relationship to endure. On Valentine's Day this year, we might very well celebrate by grabbing our masks and heading to the movies to watch Judas and the Black Messiah. After all, we've both enjoyed the benefit of the check I received for performing in the film—and the residuals headed my way in the future.