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By the time midlife arrives, many people would say they’ve got a reasonable handle on their strengths and weaknesses. They know that they’re ultra-organized, or that small talk makes them cranky. And they’re probably aware of whether a looming deadline brings out their finest work or sends them running for cover.
Maybe you feel a persistent yearning to make changes in your life—but aren’t so sure about your talents, and you have nagging questions. “There are people who get into a field or career early on and never second guess themselves,” says Howard E. A. Tinsley, professor emeritus of psychology at Southern Illinois University, who specializes in leisure and vocational studies. “But others still wonder about that road not taken. And for people with multiple talents, the kind of people who could have taken a number of paths, there can be lots of questions.”
Wondering if you’re still moving in the right direction in life (or if you were ever meant to be in your field in the first place) isn’t just normal, it’s important, say experts, especially as you contemplate a second-act career or struggle to find hobbies that make you happy. Midlife is when many people get honest about how, when and where they want to direct their energy, so knowing your superpower (not to mention your kryptonite) is essential.
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“People need to understand how they’re hard wired,” says Steve Greene, director at the Johnson O'Connor Research Foundation, a nonprofit aptitude-testing organization. “When you tap into your innate abilities, you feel engaged. It feels like you are in a kayak paddling with the current.”
But when there’s an inherent mismatch—an extrovert trapped in a cubicle or a math-o-phobe tangling with weekly spreadsheets—“it’s as if they’re paddling against the current. They can see that they have to work harder just to keep up with people who are naturally gifted, and it can be frustrating.”
Your curiosity about those innate strengths and weaknesses may be greater than you suspect. While Greene says roughly half of those who come to his organization are young students (ideally, he says, aptitude testing is done during middle school), the other half are adults. “Many are in their 40s and 50s. I recently tested a district attorney in her 60s. It’s a point when people are saying, ‘I do want to have a meaningful second career.’ Or they’re thinking ahead to retirement, and want a better idea of what they should do then.”
Empty nests and career plateaus can trigger this kind of soul-searching, especially about leisure pursuits, says Tinsley. “It’s not unlike kids when they start college, wondering what they should major in,” he says. “It requires asking yourself lots of questions, like ‘What kind of activities do I like? When do I feel most satisfied?’”