Lose the Dishes in the Divorce? A Gift Registry Can Help

Filling emotional holes

Even some people in financially stable situations find emotional value in a divorce registry, say experts.

Registry gifts acknowledge that your friend or family member is going through a change, says Olivia Dreizen Howell, cofounder and CEO of Fresh Starts Registry, a platform that helps people going through divorce and other life changes find career coaches and lawyers and build a divorce registry.

“We celebrate weddings and babies with a registry, but [not] the moments we really need to restock our life, like divorce,” she says.

She adds that it can be devastating to sleep on sheets that you slept on with your now-ex for 20 years.

Julie Levin, a marriage and family therapist in Pleasant Hill, California, agrees, noting that the stigma associated with divorce can erode a person’s confidence and self-worth.

Even in an amicable divorce, Levin says couples can be made to feel as though they didn’t try hard enough to make it work.

 “Divorce registries offer a way to support a friend or loved one during a difficult time in their life and to offer empathy instead of judgment,” says Levin.​

While there are no official options for divorce registries at the mega stores such as Target, Walmart and Amazon, there is the option to create a generic wish list or “any occasion” registry — like what Sylvia did when she registered at Bed, Bath & Beyond.

What’s popular on divorce registries?

The top requested items are sheets, towels, kitchenware and dishes, says Genevieve Dreizen, cofounder of Fresh Starts Registry.

She says there is “something healing, exciting and renewing about new textiles your ex has never touched,” adding that it’s often the first time a person doesn’t have to compromise on what they want

Embracing a new chapter in life

Following her divorce more than a decade ago, Rene Mondy, 48, a therapist in Atlanta, Georgia, who specializes in helping individuals navigate relationship transitions, wanted to help other women rebuild their lives post-marriage.

Mondy launched a supportive community for divorced women, gathering in locations across Atlanta, and started an online boutique, Dear John the Box, curating a selection of empowering products tailored to post-divorce women. Her post-breakup subscription boxes include self-care items and other products that promote self-love, open communication and laughter. Mondy also includes a link to a registry site called myregistry.com, allowing women to select the essential items they need from her shop or other stores.

“The registry has been a real eye-opener for most of my clients over 50,” Mondy shares, adding that so many women come from backgrounds or eras where there was no open discussion about divorce or the difficult transition time afterward.

Mondy highlights how feelings of embarrassment or being overwhelmed often prevent women from asking for help. Divorce registries give them that help. “I found the largest misconception to be that divorce registries are all about glorifying the reason or circumstance for the divorce. Neither is true,” she says, adding that assistance helps after all kinds of loss. “Divorce registries are ways to help someone prepare for opportunities for growth and healing.”

Beckerman, now host of the Life Apres Sylvia and Me podcast, concurs. “A divorce registry isn’t celebrating the ending of a marriage,” she says, “but how about celebrating the beginning of something new.”