25 Great Ways to Make Friends Over 50

Our guide to expanding your social circle and feeling less alone

Eric Spitznagel,

AARP

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Published December 02, 2024

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Social interaction — including making new friends — is a key to happiness as we age, according to a 2024 AARP survey of 1,010 adults age 50+, which found that 74% of surveyed adults pointed to in-person socializing and 49% pointed to virtual socializing as factors.

But despite the clear benefits of socializing, 22% of people surveyed said they get together with friends less than once a week. This can lead to loneliness, which can affect your health, increasing your risk for heart attacks, strokes, diabetes, infections, dementia and premature death. Making new friends can be difficult, but that's where AARP can help. Here are 25 strategies to help you find your new BFFs.

1. Leave the house

The only way to make new friends is by leaving your comfort zone, both figuratively and literally. “You can sit around your living room and complain about how lonely you are, but nothing will change until you leave the house and come to where the people are,” says Rebecca G. Adams, a professor of sociology and gerontology at the University of North Carolina, Greensboro. “It doesn’t work the other way around.”

2. Assume people like you

We all underestimate our likability, says Marisa Franco, a psychologist and author of Platonic: How the Science of Attachment Can Help You Make — and Keep — Friends. In fact, she points to a 2018 study, which found that people consistently underestimate how much (or even if) others like them, a phenomenon called “the liking gap.” Remembering this “can keep us from being paralyzed by fears of rejection,” Franco says. “When we assume we’ll be liked, it’s more likely that we actually will be liked.”

3. Do the things you love

Do you love going to sports events? Or seeing live music? Going to concerts isn’t just good for our mental health; it can also be a place to find future friends. “Follow your bliss, and your people will be there,” Adams says. “I’m a big live music fan, and I go to the same venues over and over. I tend to see the same people at these shows, and we start to recognize each other.” Before even opening your mouth and saying hello, you have something in common.

4. Become a volunteer

A 2020 study from the University of Massachusetts found that older adults (especially women) were likely to make new friends while volunteering. “It offers a way to get to know people while engaged in something meaningful without the potential awkwardness of cocktail party small talk,” says Lydia Denworth, an award-winning science journalist and author of Friendship: The Evolution, Biology, and Extraordinary Power of Life’s Fundamental Bond. Not sure where to start? AARP has many volunteering opportunities across the country.

Walking your dog is a wonderful way to find new friends by encouraging their owners to be more social.

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5. Get a dog

Adopting a dog can be good for your mental and physical health, especially for people over 50. But it can also be a way to find new friends. In a 2024 poll from Purina, nearly half of dog owners in the U.K. said they made at least one new friend while walking their dog, and 66 percent said it encouraged them to be more social. Before deciding on your new furry companion, make sure you consider the right breed for your personality.

6. Keep showing up

There’s a theory called the “mere exposure effect,” which suggests that we develop a fondness for people just by being around them for long periods. “Frequent exposure to people does tend to be the basis for many of our friendships,” says Amie Gordon, an assistant professor of psychology at the University of Michigan who studies the biology of relationships. “It’s why we know our next-door neighbor better than the person five houses down.” The more other people see you and interact with you, the more likely they are to want to pursue a friendship with you.

7. Remember that you’re not the only one afraid of rejection

Roughly 12 percent of U.S. adults will struggle with social anxiety disorder at some point in their lives, according to the National Institute of Mental Health. But don’t let their (or your) anxiety stop a friendship from blossoming. “Many people decide whether to invest in a relationship based on our view of how likely we are to get rejected,” Franco says. “So when we show people ‘I like you,’ we’re telling them, ‘Hey, you’re not going to get rejected if you try to be friends with me.’” Make sure they know how happy you are to meet them and how great you think they are. A little flattery will go a long way.

8. Make the plans

Nobody wants to be the first person to suggest a friendship outing. What if they say no? What if you get rejected? Adams is experiencing this dilemma firsthand. “I met this woman that I have so much in common with, and we've had several meaningful interactions in public,” she says. “I keep thinking, ‘I'm going to invite her over.’ It takes a lot of bravery to get to that point.” But it’s important to be proactive and take that leap, she says, even if it terrifies us.

9. Talk to people you see regularly

Adams says her husband met a new friend in the most unlikely of places: the laundromat. “He goes there every Sunday afternoon, and there’s another guy who’s always there at the same time,” she says. “They slowly started making small talk with each other, and now they’re very close friends.” It’s a lesson she’s tried to implement in her own life. The people you see regularly, from the bus stop to the grocery store, are all potential friends. “Sometimes you don’t need anything else in common with someone other than that you’re both in the same place at the same time.”

Make friends with your colleagues — it can make you more engaged, happier at work and productive.

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10. Spend more time with work colleagues

Our workplace environments are the closest thing that older adults have to school. According to a 2022 Gallup survey, more people than ever are finding friends at work, and it’s increasing their job satisfaction and mental health. “Having workplace friends makes us more engaged and productive, and we have better creative problem-solving skills,” Nelson says. “It’s a win-win for everybody.” It’s even possible to make office friends if you work remotely.

11. Ask open-ended questions

Encourage a deeper conversation by asking questions that require more than a yes-or-no answer. Karla Olson, founder of the Empty Nester Club, a nationwide support group for parents with college-bound kids, suggests conversation starters like, “What do you enjoy most about the yoga class?” Or "Have you tried any new recipes lately?” She also recommends sharing a personal story, “something about yourself that can help the other person feel more comfortable and encourage them to open up as well,” she says.

12. Be consistent

Friendships do not always happen organically, says Shasta Nelson, the author of several books on friendship, including Frientimacy: How to Deepen Friendships for Lifelong Health and Happiness. “We have to invite, we have to schedule, we have to follow up, and we have to keep doing it over and over and over again.” Olson adds that she and other female friends set up a weekly “girls night out” on Thursdays, in which new and old friends are welcome. “Some weeks eight to 10 people show up, other weeks there might only be two or three,” she says. “But it’s always something we could count on every week — a break on Thursday night if we needed it.”

13. Send a text

Face-to-face encounters are where friendships begin, but they also involve smaller, regular investments. A text is a great way to stay connected with a fledgling friendship, and Adams says it can help you both build intimacy in a safe environment. “These private interactions allow you both to feel more comfortable with self-disclosure and sharing things you might not be ready to talk about in public,” she says. “That’s a huge step forward in creating a true friendship.” Also, check out these ways to make your texts more fun and creative.

14. Be your perfectly weird self

Resist the urge to change your personality or pretend to be someone you’re not because you’re worried that the real you isn’t likable enough. It might work in the short term, but it’s a recipe for disappointment. “If you're not being yourself, then the other person isn’t getting to know the real you,” Adams says. “And that means that you're not really establishing a friendship at all.” The qualities you think make you weird or unlovable might actually be the qualities that somebody else finds interesting or appealing.

Use a friendship app like Bumble BFF, Meetup and Friended to find like-minded pals.

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15. Try a friendship app

Apps aren’t just for singles looking for a love connection. “There are some great app options out there for meeting prospective friends,” says Olson, like Bumble BFF, Meetup and Friended. “They offer all sorts of ways to connect, like hiking groups, wine tasting, travel groups, anything you can imagine.”

16. Be patient

“Time is one of the essential ingredients for making friends,” Denworth says. “This is true even if you like someone immediately.” In fact, a 2018 study from the University of Kansas found that it takes about 200 hours to develop a meaningful friendship. The good news, especially for older adults, is that we typically have more time to invest in building new relationships. “Professional and family demands are less intense for many older adults,” Denworth says. “But we’ve still got to remember to be patient.” Rome, as they say, wasn’t built in a day.

17. Be vulnerable

True friendships are based on vulnerability; our willingness to share things with each other that we don’t with the outside world. “I remember the exact moment one of my coworkers turned into a true friend,” Franco says. “We were out for coffee together, and I decided to admit to some struggles I was having at work. I didn’t know how she’d respond, but she admitted to having the same struggles — a shared experience that drew us closer.” That vulnerability, Franco says, was the exact moment that cemented their friendship.

18. Leave them with positive emotions

“Any time you make a new friend, you want them to walk away feeling positive emotions about you,” Nelson says. “The goal is to leave them thinking, ‘I want to see that person again.’” That means focusing on the things you like about somebody — and telling them. Compliment them, point out the things you admire about their personality and their opinions, and let them know how much you’ve enjoyed your time with them. “When you make somebody feel good, they’re naturally going to gravitate back towards you again,” Nelson adds.

19. Join some Facebook groups

Social media, especially shared-interest groups on Facebook, can be the launching pad to friendships in real life. “There are a lot of Facebook groups that will help you build a sense of community and belonging and shared commonalities,” says Nelson, noting that there are online groups for everything from cancer survivors to welcoming new neighbors. Olson says she knows one woman who started a Facebook group for lonely middle-aged moms and now has “a group of 1,300 local members, and they have had 40 meetup events a year.”

Look up friends you had decades ago to see if they'd like to reconnect.

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20. Reach out to old friends

Has it been years (or maybe decades) since you’ve reconnected with an old high school or college buddy? “They’re probably going through exactly what you’re going through,” Olson says. The next time you breeze past an old friend’s post on social media, don’t just “like” it. Reach out and see if they’d like to get together for a face-to-face reunion. “It’s so fun to laugh and reminisce about the good old times and support each other through this next chapter,” Olson says.

21. Socialize without booze

The social pressure to make new friends over cocktails can feel overwhelming, though it’s not exactly inviting for someone trying to make better health choices. But socializing without booze is gaining in popularity. According to a 2022 survey from the International Wine and Spirit Research's Drinks and Market Analysis, non-alcoholic drink consumption is expected to increase by a third by 2026. And if you’d still rather avoid the temptations of alcohol, “there's always coffee,” Adams says.

22. Invite someone on an errand date

Whether you’re retired or still working for a living, everybody feels like they have a shortage of free time. “That's the challenge for all of us,” Adams says. “How do we carve out the time to meet new friends, much less spend time with them?” She suggests trying an “errand date,” where you and a new friend tackle your to-do list together. It could be running to the post office, or clothes shopping, or just hitting the mall. “It takes away the pressure, as you’re both focused on the activity,” Adams says.

23. Don’t let age stop you

According to a 2019 AARP survey, nearly four in 10 adults have a close friend who’s at least 15 years older or younger than them. Several studies have shown that intergenerational friendships make us smarter and more open-minded. And the age gap doesn’t have to be just a few years. Olson recently heard from an 83-year-old member of the Empty Nester Club who met her new best friend in the group. “Her new BFF is 37,” Olson says.

24. Don’t be too quick to feel rejected

We’ve all felt the sting of trying to set up a friend date and getting a response like, “I’m busy the next few weeks.” Or worse, getting no response at all. It may look and feel like rejection, but it probably has nothing to do with you. “Maybe your text got lost in a text chain and they forgot to answer you back, or they were busy and forgot to get back to you,” Nelson says. If there’s any doubt, it might be time to pick up the phone. “Just to say, ‘I wanna make sure you saw my text. I’d still love to get together if it works out. And if not, no worries.’”

25. Remember to be a good friend

Evolutionary science shows there are three essential ingredients to a quality friendship, Denworth says. They need to be long-lasting, positive and cooperative. “That translates into being a steady, stable presence in someone’s life,” she says. “Being positive and kind. And being helpful and cooperative. Show up. Listen.” A true friend isn’t just someone to pass the time with and help you feel less lonely. You need to demonstrate that you’re making their life (and they’re making your life) actively better.

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