8 Stretches for Better Sex

A more flexible body can mean a better time in the bedroom

Nicole Pajer,

AARP

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Published July 10, 2024

Illustration: Vidhya Nagarajan

You stretch before a long walk or your cardio class at the gym. But what about before sex?

“Stretching isn’t just about enhancing flexibility — it’s an essential activity that boosts blood circulation and prepares the body for more enjoyable and comfortable intimate experiences,” in the bedroom, says Linda Borgmeyer, an occupational therapist, geriatric exercise specialist and cofounder of Palm Beach, Florida, in-home physical therapy service Novoleo.

Stretching before sex not only increases your range of motions, says Borgmeyer, you’ll be able to access more positions more easily — making the experience all that much more enjoyable.

Plus the old adage rings true, says Caryn McAllister, a physical therapist and president and CEO of High Quality Home Therapy: “If you don’t use it, you lose it,” adding that muscles play a crucial role in getting busy.

Here are eight exercises for better sex that can help you loosen up in all the right places before you get your groove on. Be sure to connect with your doctor before you try any new exercises.

Illustration: Vidhya Nagarajan

Deep squat

Also known as a Yogi squat, this stretch allows your pelvic floor, hip adductors and deep gluteal muscles to relax. “When these are tight, movements needed for sexual activity can be painful,” says McAllister. A shallow squat, she says, works to tighten those muscles, while a deep squat is a sex exercise that can relax them.

To do a deep squat, spread your feet a little wider than hip distance apart and slowly squat down as low as you can comfortably go. “Aim for your crotch/buttocks to be between 1-2 inches from the ground,” says McAllister. She notes, however, that if your pelvic floor, hips or legs are tight, this might be difficult, so it’s important to listen to your body and not to push yourself too hard. For extra support, hold on to the bed while lowering into this position, then relax into the stretch. “The last thing you want to do is injure yourself when you are trying to be limber for you-know-what!” jokes McAllister.

Illustration: Vidhya Nagarajan

Pigeon pose

This is a yoga position stretch that targets the deep glute muscles and relaxes the piriformis muscle, a flat, narrow muscle that runs from your lower spine through your butt to the top of your thighs. Your piriformis extends to each side of the body and aids in almost every movement of your lower body. “The sciatic nerve most commonly runs underneath the piriformis, and when the piriformis squeezes on the sciatic nerve, [this] can cause pain in the back running down the leg,” says McAllister. And this pain, she stresses, can cause anxiety and get in the way of bedroom activities. She suggests staying ahead of butt muscle and piriformis tightness by practicing this sex workout daily.

To perform a Pigeon pose, start on all fours, then bring your right knee forward towards your right wrist. Next, slide your left leg back and point your toes, your heel pointing up to the ceiling. Scissor your hips together by drawing your legs in towards each other. “Use support under your butt cheek if needed,” says McAllister. Lean over your front leg and breathe into the stretch. Try holding for 15-30 seconds. Repeat with the other leg and do the whole sequence 2 to 4 times.

Another variation of this is the Figure 4 Stretch, which McAllister deems “a light version of the Pigeon pose.” To do this version, lie on your back with your legs bent and feet planted. Next lift one leg and place it over your opposite knee. Reach under that opposite knee and pull your leg towards you, stretching the top leg. Hold the stretch for 15-30 seconds. Do this with the other leg and rotate through the stretch with both legs 2 to 4 times.

Illustration: Vidhya Nagarajan

Hamstring stretch

“Tight hamstrings are associated with low back pain, and low back pain is a common preventer of bedroom activities,” says McAllister. Thus, you want to keep them nice and limber. You can do this sex exercise sitting or standing.

For a standing hamstring stretch, lean over and reach for your toes. “If you need to bend your knees slightly, go for it,” says McAllister. Be careful not to push yourself too hard and overdo the stretch, so if you can’t reach your toes, that’s perfectly OK. “Muscles relax when given the opportunity to, but they tighten up if pushed too hard too abruptly,” says McAllister. You can also perform this stretch while sitting. “Check in with your hamstrings and stretch them daily, holding for 15-30 seconds and repeating 2-4 times,” McAllister adds.

Illustration: Vidhya Nagarajan

Cat-Cow

Back pain during a romp in the hay is a huge buzzkill. This yoga pose is a gentle stretch for your back, hips and abdomen and can help to enhance your spinal mobility. “It can improve flexibility as well as circulation, helping to support a range of movements,” says Brandt Passalacqua, cofounder, director, and lead teacher at Breathing Deeply Yoga Therapy.

To do a Cat-Cow stretch, start in a tabletop position, on all fours with a flat back, your hips stacked over your knees and your shoulders stacked over your wrists. For extra knee support, kneel on a yoga mat or soft carpeting. Next, inhale deeply, drop your belly and arch your back while tilting your face up to get in a Cow pose. Then, exhale as you pull your abdominals up and round your back while tucking your chin towards your chest for Cat pose. Practice shifting between these two positions, switching between each position with an inhale and exhale.

Illustration: Vidhya Nagarajan

Bridge pose

This gentle stretch is a great sex exercise to strengthen the lower back, glutes and pelvic region. It can also help to stretch out your chest and spine. “These areas are significant when it comes to thrusting motions and maintaining stability in various positions,” says Borgmeyer. “Strengthening them can lead to improved performance and endurance.”

To get into this position, Borgmeyer says to lie down on your back with your knees bent on the floor, hip-width apart. Place your arms alongside your body and turn your arms so that your palms are facing down. Press your feet into the floor and slowly lift your hips toward the ceiling. Make sure to keep your shoulder blades in contact with the floor. “Keep your thighs and feet parallel. You can place a yoga block between the knees to facilitate this and maintain your alignment,” suggests Borgmeyer. Keep your knees over your ankles.

For an extra stretch, interlace your hands underneath your back and extend through your arms to help lift your chest. Hold this position for 5 to 10 breaths.

Illustration: Vidhya Nagarajan

Neck rolls

“Tension in the neck and shoulders can impact posture and comfort, especially in positions that require support from these muscle groups – such as oral sex in the supine position,” says Borgmeyer. Regular stretching, she adds, can help release this tension, increase mobility, and prevent stiffness during and after activity.

These can be performed in a seated or standing position, with your back straight and relaxed shoulders. Drop your chin 45 degrees down towards your chest. Slowly roll your head to the right, bringing your right ear towards your right shoulder. Complete the roll so that your neck goes in a circle. Then reverse and go the other way, bringing your left ear towards your left shoulder. Repeat this for a few full cycles, breathing deeply as you do them.

“Move through a pain-free range of motion with control,” says Borgmeyer. "If you are unable to perform this sex exercise in a slow and controlled manner, decrease your range until you have built the strength and neuromuscular control within the muscle of the neck and thoracic cage."

Illustration: Vidhya Nagarajan

Happy Baby pose

Have you ever seen a baby roll onto his back, grab both of his feet and giggle as he rocks side to side? You came into this world doing this pose, but unless you’re into yoga, it’s probably been a while since you’ve experimented with it. “As we age, we forget to have fun, roll around and let our bodies feel good,” says Laurel Erilane, a yoga instructor with Yoga Wake Up. This, she says, is a very relaxing posture that opens the hips, glutes, low back, and can allow for deep vaginal and anal penetration. “It can also help make missionary more interesting,” she adds. If you’re up for it, try this sex exercise in bed.

To perform Happy Baby, lie on your back and bend your knees towards your armpits. Slowly grab onto your shin bones, and if you feel comfortable enough, reach for the outside of your feet (you can start with your shins and gradually work your way down as you become more flexible). Flex your feet and push your heels upward. For a quick mood booster, rock side to side and don’t forget to smile!

Illustration: Vidhya Nagarajan

Butterfly stretch

The Butterfly is a great sex exercise to work the inner thighs and groin. “This stretch helps in widening the range of motion,” says Borgmeyer. “For activities that involve the legs being apart, like sex, having limber hip adductors can reduce strain and increase comfort.”

Start in a seated position on the floor with your legs straight in front of you. Next, bring the soles of your feet together, letting your knees drop to the sides. Grip your feet or ankles with your hands, while keeping your spine straight. Use your elbows and gently press your knees towards the floor, going only as far as feels comfortable. Try staying in this position for one minute, breathing deeply as you hold it. “To come out, gently release your feet and extend your legs back out in front of you,” says Borgmeyer. “Feel free to shake the legs out or roll the thighs in and out.”

“Keeping limber for sex as we age is important, because sex keeps us youthful in mind and body, reduces stress and adds to our overall health – plus, it’s a wonderful form of exercise,”

Do you have a question about sex and relationships as a 50-plus adult? Send them to sexafter50@aarp.org and they may be answered in our In the Mood column.

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