Family Caregiving Doesn't End When the Recipient Dies

Take initial steps

In the early days after a care partner's death, consider securing the home and belongings. Lock up the residence if he or she lived independently, change the locks if you've given away keys, make sure vehicles and other valuables are safe, and write or video an inventory of any items that will pass by will or trust. If there is no will or trust, still do an inventory that you can share with your attorney, advisers or expected inheritors. You may consider having your loved one's mail forwarded to your address for a period of time so that it doesn't pile up at his or her home and so you don't miss any important correspondence.

Obtain the ubiquitous bankers box or storage bin and use it to store paperwork you think you may need. Include separate folders for documents related to assets, liabilities, legal matters and ongoing household and business concerns. Ask your attorney what originals you need to keep, and scan or shred what you can to reduce the pileup of paper.

Remember that grief often puts us in a mental fog. Even filling out simple forms may feel confusing to you. Staying organized will help tremendously during this time.

Prioritize your obligations

When the bills start rolling in, it's common to think we should start writing checks to keep the balances up to date. If you call a creditor to inform them of your loved one's death, there is a strong possibility that they will tell you to pay the bill. This is not always the case. Please know that unless you are a joint account holder or responsible payor for an account, you do not have to pay another person's debts.

As you are managing the closure of accounts, consider what bills would have to be paid to keep things afloat. Prioritize these over others. If your care partner owned a home, consider whether it is to be inherited or sold and whether you should pay the mortgage, keep utilities on, or hire a service to maintain the pool or yard so they don't fall into disrepair.

Consult an attorney or adviser to help you determine what you are and are not responsible to pay for, and the correct way to make payments. Before you pay out of your loved one's assets or out of your own pocket, make sure that it is the legally proper thing to do.

The “business of death” can be a heavy workload or a streamlined process, and you can decide what you will leave for your post-life caregiver.

For current and future care recipients: These are just a few considerations you should think through to allow for efficiency and limited expense in closing up your affairs.

Create your estate planning documents and structure your assets to simplify inheritance. If you own any assets (a house, vehicle, valuable items), run a business, hold insurance policies or even just have a checking account, you should learn how you can pass these assets outside of probate or make it easy for them to be distributed to your chosen beneficiaries.

Also, consider who is going to pay for immediate expenses if you die. Who would pay for the funeral and reception? You may wish to leave an account to be transferred on death to that person so they have immediate access to money.

There is the option to create contracts, operating agreements or trusts that allow for the management of assets or businesses without need for probate. A solid succession plan can prevent years in court and keep the process private.

It may be wise for you to make lifetime gifts or charitable donations; that is, to give away money or accounts to beneficiaries now instead of after you die. Talk to your attorneys and advisers before doing this. There are implications for taxes or public benefits qualifications, so explore how these decisions could be a benefit or detriment to you.

Similarly, plan your final disposition in advance. Leave clear directives about organ and tissue donation; register now if you wish to donate to science or education. Or you can pre-pay for cremation or burial, which may provide a financial benefit to you. At a minimum, settling the funeral arrangements takes the guesswork away for your grieving caregivers.

Finally, prepare a letter of instruction for your caregivers. Make sure to include everything from telling them where you keep documents and keys, to whom to inform about your death, to passwords and PINs for your accounts, and so much more. A well-executed letter of instruction will save your caregivers hours, if not days or weeks, of time. You don't need a lawyer to make this informal document. All you need is a bit of time and forethought to create it.

Just as caring for a loved one is an act of devotion, taking these steps to make your caregiver's burden lighter is an act of love and devotion. You will leave a legacy of ease that will most assuredly be appreciated.