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Depending on their age, your children may or may not understand why you need to spend so much time caring for your older loved one.
All they may know is that this results in having less time with you and less of your attention or patience. This can lead to resentment on their part and guilt on yours, especially if you can’t make it to some of their school or sports events.
“Realize you’re not going to be perfect and children don’t need you to be,” advises Barry J. Jacobs, a clinical psychologist, health care consultant and AARP.org columnist. “They need you to be loving and supportive.”
Here are some strategies that can help minimize the effect of caregiving on your kids:
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1. Preserve the touchstones of family life
“Make sure you have dedicated time with your children, including bedtime rituals and mealtime rituals,” Jacobs says.
This will enhance the closeness and connection between you and them and provide a stabilizing influence that will counteract the times when your attention is suddenly diverted because of your older family member’s needs.
Learn More about Caregiving Conflicts
Family Conflict: Caregiving Can Affect Relationship with Loved One
The person receiving care still should make some decisions; some changes can be introduced slowlyYour Marriage Can Suffer When You're a Caregiver
Balancing the role of caregiver and spousePrimary Caregiver Often Pitted Against Siblings in Family Conflict
Simmering rivalries from the past can fuel problems, but frequent communication is key