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Next week, we’ll celebrate the most family-centric of holidays, the one where everyone comes “over the river and through the woods” (via stop-and-go traffic) to arrive with the same story about why they’re 40 minutes late.
And here’s another universally shared predicament on Thanksgiving:
If your home is either the annual destination or just this year’s familial rendezvous, congratulations, you have the dubious pleasure of cooking the festive meal. Even confident cooks may wince at the idea of traditional Thanksgiving, because when was the last time you roasted a turkey, served cranberry sauce, shoved marshmallows onto sweet potatoes or scooped out pie filling from a pumpkin? Even more deflating, how many of the guests at your table are craving turkey? No wonder the highest praise you can hope for is, “Gee, Aunt Blanche, this turkey isn’t nearly as dry as Aunt Doris’.”
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In heartfelt hope of preventing your impending madness, and provoking a more intense and authentic round of compliments, I offer two solid solutions for this holiday that evokes love, and dread:
Solution No. 1
Forget the bird. Instead, serve the dishes you love to cook and are proud to serve, as well as the ones your family appreciates. I haven’t served turkey in years. My coffee-crusted prime rib anchors our table and my family’s so delighted to dive into their favorite roast, I have to order double portions.
So that you may deflect anyone accusing you of cultural blasphemy, it is documented that at the first Thanksgiving in Plymouth pilgrims ate duck, pheasant and goose, which were far more plentiful than turkey. They also dined on venison, shrimp, mussels, fish, beans, squash, corn and watercress. They did not have potatoes of any kind, nor did they have pie. Ancient Egyptians ate marshmallows; the Pilgrims had none.
Therefore, you are hereby freed to make leg of lamb or roast salmon, or if you’re known for a killer lasagna and swoon-worthy coconut cake, bake them early because they are readily freezable, then thaw them the day before you need them.
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