Javascript is not enabled.

Javascript must be enabled to use this site. Please enable Javascript in your browser and try again.

Skip to content
Content starts here
CLOSE ×
Search
Leaving AARP.org Website

You are now leaving AARP.org and going to a website that is not operated by AARP. A different privacy policy and terms of service will apply.

3 Life Lessons Kids Today Need to Learn From Kids of the Past

Tips for working, winning and living in the real world


spinner image a child with a jar of lightning bugs against an exterior wall
Stocksy


Life was not so much harder when we were young but it was challenging. And that made it more satisfying. Here are a few truths that kids today could really benefit by learning. 

Life doesn’t always give you a trophy for showing up

Organized youth sports reward kids for participation — attending practices and being part of a team. In other words, everyone gets a trophy. The practice dates back to the 1920s, according to The Sport Journal, when sports teams needed players and offered the promise of a trophy for everyone as a recruitment tool. Sometime in the late 1990s, the reasons for giving out trophies to everyone shifted to being a reward for honoring a commitment and being a good team member.

As the parent of two athletic kids, I never bought it. I always felt my children — who were the ones scoring the goals, hitting the home runs and making the baskets — were being short-changed when it came to recognition for their competitiveness and actual sports skills.

Don’t get me wrong: No child should be made to feel bad about themselves, but what’s wrong with figuring out what you are good at and accepting that nobody is good at everything?

Besides, participation trophies just don’t cut it in adult life. The boss isn’t going to shout “good try” when you blow a big deal. We live in a society where we measure results, not effort — and unless that changes, kids need to learn this lesson.

Let the lightning bugs go

As a child in the 1950s, I joined the nightly neighborhood hunt for fireflies. On summer nights, we would gather — Mason jars in hand, with holes we punched in the tops so our prisoners could breathe — on our stoops waiting for the lightning bugs to appear. Slow-moving, they were easy to catch. And each night, my mother would admonish me to release them before coming inside to bed. I only forgot once and was sufficiently horrified by the genocide I found in the morning knowing that it had occurred by my hand.   

Recently, as we gathered our extended family for a holiday meal, I stood equally horrified by the sounds of explosions and cries of destruction coming from a video game on the iPad that the 7-year-old’s mother thought had a place at the table. When I asked, he told me with great pride that he had just captured all the bad aliens — who look oddly like lightning bugs to me — and was now preparing to go into extermination mode unless dessert was coming soon.

Call me overly sensitive if you must but taking pleasure or being entertained by the pain of others — real or imaginary — is not a societal trait we need more of. Why isn’t kindness as cool as, say, being mean? Can we teach today’s kids that being nice can feel good? And I may be pushing my luck here, but how about they leave their devices at home and learn how to have a conversation when visiting? 

Working hard is easier when you love what you do

I’m all for work-life balance and have always put my family first. But hard work has gotten a bad rap as of late. I spent more than 45 years working as a journalist and honestly can’t recall a day when I didn’t love my job. And for what it’s worth, many of those days were long.

When my daughter was in elementary school, she had a homework assignment in which she had to match her spelling words with the sentence where they best fit. She called me over to help because she had finished but had one word and one definition left over and to her way of thinking, they didn’t match. The word was “work” and the sentence was “Lunch is the best part of my ____ day.” Maybe it was for this teacher, but it certainly wasn’t true in our family.

Tell your kids and grandkids to find a job they love and maybe they won’t mind the demands it makes of them.

Share your experience: What life advice would your childhood self tell kids today? Leave your thoughts in the comments below.

Unlock Access to AARP Members Edition

Join AARP to Continue

Already a Member?