6 Life Lessons From My Grandparents to My Grandkids

Essential, unsolicited advice that every grandchild needs to win at life

Janie Emaus,

AARP Experience Counts

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Published September 07, 2023

family members smile while they eat ice cream together

Stocksy

Children grow up while we parents are deep in the throes of “life.” As nutritionists, VPs of bathroom maintenance, bedtime referees and recipients of eye rolls, shrugs and the occasional surprise hug, we often miss the chance to fully appreciate what is happening around us.

As a grandparent, it’s completely different. Time spent with a grandchild is uninterrupted joy.

When my grandchildren were young teens, every Wednesday we had a free hour between activities to share a wonderful weekly dinner. We ate mussels (yes, I introduced them to all the finest foods), and while they sipped root beer and I enjoyed a fine glass of wine, we talked about friends, food, grades, dreams. I cherished these meals with all my heart.

At one dinner, my mind drifted out of the room. I was remembering a conversation between my grandparents and me in which they gave me advice on how to get the most out of each day and live a wonderful life. And then without warning, the words tumbled out of my mouth as I passed them along to my grandchildren.

Here are some lessons that I hope they took to heart.

Follow your dreams

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My grandparents owned a very successful hardware store in Los Angeles. I remember my grandmother wearing sturdy shoes and thick socks. While other grandmothers stayed home, crocheting quilts and playing mah-jongg, my grandmother walked several blocks to their store and spent her days tallying numbers while my grandfather sold can openers, bolts and cast-iron cookware. They told me they were living their dream. And not to let anyone get in the way of mine.

My granddaughter has dreams of a being a dancer and an actor. My grandson dreams of being an artist. I repeated to them my grandmother’s words: Don’t let anyone talk you out of what they think may be impossible. If you want to dance, dance. If you want to paint, paint. All the great artists — in fact, all old people — were once young. They all started with a dream. We can only hope they pursued them as adults.

Save for a rainy day

My grandmother kept galoshes and an umbrella in her hall closet, but that hardly seemed like anything that would help me in life unless I had to walk to someplace important in the rain. And although my grandparents did walk everywhere, I planned on driving as soon as I turned 16. But as I grew up and started working, I realized the significance of that statement. I began paying myself first out of every paycheck and explained savings and 401(k) programs to my grandchildren.

Take care of your skin

When I was growing up, all women of a certain age had a jar of Ponds on their bathroom counter. My grandmother used a simple bar of soap to clean her skin and then applied Ponds to her face. With today’s emphasis on beautiful skin and eternal youth, I caution my grandchildren about the danger of too much sun. And though I purchase many overpriced anti-aging creams, I still use Ponds to remove my eye makeup. When my granddaughter, now a 20-year-old woman, came to spend the night, my jar mysteriously traveled from my bathroom to hers.

See the glass as half full

No matter how cruel life seems, something good will always turn up from the situation. My grandparents left a thriving business in New York, but as my grandmother told me, they were meant to move to California so that my mother would meet my father. She believed that everything happened for a reason, although that reason isn’t always clear at first. Thinking positive helps positive events occur.

Find the funny

Laughter filled my grandparents’ home. Not a day went by when my grandfather didn’t tell silly jokes, which made everyone laugh. Even my grandmother laughed, and she knew his jokes by heart. Every time my grandfather came into the kitchen, I remember him pinching my grandmother’s butt. They instilled in me a sense of humor and stressed the importance of surrounding myself with friends who made me laugh. Although I’m not a good joke teller, I tell funny stories to my grandkids. Their laughter fills my house with joy.

Have a toolbox — literally and figuratively — handy at all times

You might say that my grandmother was one of the first feminists. She taught me the difference between a Phillips-head and a flathead screwdriver and how to use them. My grandparents bought me a toolbox when I moved into my first apartment. I bought my granddaughter one and will do the same for my grandson when the time comes. I explained how important it was to be able to fix simple things without always asking for help, to not have to rely on anyone else. It makes for a much easier life when you can depend on yourself.

“Anything else?,” my granddaughter asked, gurgling the last of her root beer.

“Next week,” I said. “Same time. Same place.”

My grandchildren are now 18 and 20, living on their own. I’m not sure how much of my advice they have incorporated from our weekly dinners, but I do know they both have healthy bank accounts, are following their dreams, laugh a great deal and love mussels.

Share Your Experience: What advice did your grandparent give you that you’ve shared with the next generation? Tell us in the comments.

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Janie Emaus is the author of the picture books, Latkes for Santa Claus, a finalist in the 2022 International Book Awards, and Easter Eggs & Matzo Balls as well as the adult novel The Time Traveling Matchmaker. Her essays, stories and articles have been published in numerous magazines, anthologies and websites. To learn more about Janie, visit her at www.janieemaus.com.