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Mothers and Children Forge Bonds After Reuniting Later in Life

DNA testing helped these four pairs find each other

spinner image Mother and child looking at a sunset over the water
Getty Images

The connection a child has with a mother is powerful — even if that connection comes later in life.

Some adoptees spend years searching for their biological mothers and some mothers yearn to know what happened to the babies they placed for adoption. Now, the rise of DNA testing services is bringing long-lost mothers and children together for emotional reunions.

An estimated 26 million people across the globe have provided saliva samples and sent their DNA to direct-to-consumer companies such as Ancestry and 23andMe to learn more about their ethnicities and ancestral roots or to connect with relatives, including birth mothers, according to a 2020 study published in JAMA, the Journal of the American Medical Association.

“[M]any states, sadly, keep [adoption] files closed forever so DNA is the only way that those adoptees can identify and find out about their biological families,” says Louise Baldock, DNA detective at Finding Families, a United Kingdom-based organization that traces family trees and helps find missing family members, including birth mothers. “Most people’s first desire is to know their mother; searching for fathers often comes much later.”

Meet four mothers who placed babies for adoption and were reunited decades later thanks to DNA testing.

Judy Lloyd, Greensboro, Georgia, and Matt Robertson, Walnut Creek, California

spinner image judy lloyd and matt robertson
Matt Robertson reunited with his biological mother, Judy Lloyd.
Courtesy Matt Robertson

Judy Lloyd was unmarried and 19 when she got pregnant in 1972. Her parents insisted on keeping the pregnancy a secret and sent her from Georgia to Oregon to live with relatives until she gave birth; her infant son was placed for adoption.

“I always prayed he was in a good place with a good family,” says Lloyd, 69. “We thought he was better off but there was still kind of an ache in my heart.”

Matt Robertson, 50, learned he was adopted in the fifth grade. He called the revelation “crushing” and set out to find his birth mom when he was in college. Robertson even hired a private investigator. But when the investigation didn’t turn up any leads, he gave up.

In 2019, Robertson submitted a DNA sample to a testing company and found a relative who agreed to ask her aunts whether someone in the family gave a child up for adoption in the 1970s. The questioning led to Lloyd.

“I was in Ace Hardware and got a phone call [from my uncle’s granddaughter] and she said, ‘Do you want to see a picture of your mom?’ ” he says. “It happened so fast. Even though I was looking for her, I wasn’t quite prepared.”

Lloyd was surprised when she learned that her firstborn son was looking for her.

“I never dreamed I’d ever see him,” Lloyd says.

Although she was excited about the possibility of connecting, Lloyd also worried about what the revelation might mean. Her pregnancy wasn’t just a secret from most of her older relatives; it was also a secret from her other children.

But she revealed the news and after many phone conversations with Robertson, Lloyd and her daughter traveled to San Francisco to meet him for the first time.

“We sat down to have a beer and we were just staring at each other,” Robertson recalls. “It was surreal.”

Over the past four years, mother and son (and, often, the siblings too) have vacationed together annually. They talk frequently and Robertson’s siblings have welcomed him to the family. While it’s still a fledging relationship, Lloyd says, “My family is complete now; it’s truly a blessing.”

Mary Smith, Dorsett, United Kingdom, and Al Isaacs, Levittown, New York

spinner image mary smith and al isaacs
Al Isaacs found his biological mother, Mary Smith, through DNA testing.
Courtesy Al Isaacs

Al Isaacs didn’t learn he was adopted until he was 51.

When his adoptive father died, Isaacs found his adoption papers while packing to move his mom to a nursing home. Isaacs couldn’t ask his adoptive mother, who suffered from dementia, to fill in the blanks.

Undeterred, Isaacs submitted a DNA sample to testing company, which — along with a lot of Google searching — helped him identify his birth father, who died in 1998; his obituary mentioned a daughter, Molly.

Isaacs sent a handwritten note to his half-sister with his contact information. During their first phone call in August 2021, Isaacs learned Molly had spent 20 years searching for him. She immediately started helping Isaacs find his birth mother — and she had a secret weapon: Her mom knew about Isaacs and the identity of his birth mom, Mary Smith.

Isaacs learned his birth mother was a singer who won a popular televised singing competition in 1968; Smith had a record contract and was a regular performer at New York venues. For Isaacs, a comedian who loves being on stage, “hearing all these stories … it was like my life suddenly made so much sense.”

Through a series of twists and turns, Isaacs and Smith, 72, spoke for the first time in March 2022.

“One of the stipulations of the adoption was that I wouldn’t try to look for him or try to contact him at any time,” Smith says. “I always thought of him and wondered how and where he was and how his life turned out.”

Seven months later, Isaacs flew to Dorsett to meet his birth mother; Smith has booked a flight to visit Isaacs in New York this summer.

“I had fallen in love with this one-dimensional idea of this 19-year-old girl who was a singer and all of a sudden she’s a real flesh and blood person,” Isaacs says. “My adoptive parents … gave me a great life and I wouldn’t be who I am or where I am without them but it’s wonderful to have [Mary] in my life.”

Linda Hamilton, Boston, Massachusetts, and Robert Barksdale, Corona, California

spinner image robert barksdale and his biological mother linda hamilton
Robert Barksdale “stunned” his birth mother Linda Hamilton when he contacted her.
Courtesy Robert Barksdale

Robert Barksdale ordered a DNA kit with the goal of learning more about his birth family but he never took the test. Fortunately, his son did — and the results led Barksdale, 55, to a cousin who introduced him to his birth mother.

Linda Hamilton didn’t want to place her son for adoption, but her mother insisted. In 1968, she traveled from Washington, D.C., to Los Angeles to give birth; she wasn’t permitted to have any information about Barksdale’s adoptive family or his whereabouts.

When Hamilton, 70, learned that Barksdale had tracked her down through DNA, she was “stunned.”

“It was mind-blowing,” she recalls. “Even with all the stories that I’ve heard [about families being reconnected through DNA], I was absolutely shocked that this happened.”

Mother and son connected in February 2021. After a flurry of texts, calls and video chats, Barksdale flew across the country to meet Hamilton for the first time. There was an immediate connection.

“I was always curious and … wanted to see where I came from, who my family was, who I looked like,” Barksdale says. “My adoptive mom … always encouraged me to try to find my biological family; she passed away five months before I met them.”

Hamilton also has five daughters, meaning Barksdale now has five younger sisters. They hadn’t known Hamilton had placed a child for adoption, but their first question was, “Can we call him right now?”

Barksdale fit right in with his birth family. Not only did mother and son look alike, both work in real estate, love martinis and games and have a knack for teasing each other — Barksdale was even added to two group chats: one with his mom and sisters and another with his uncles.

“It’s just like he was never gone,” Hamilton says. “Robbie adds to our to our family and to our family history—and we do have a pretty amazing family history.”

Julia Fusco and Kristen Fusco and Elsy Mejia Vaquerano, Boston, Massachusetts

spinner image julia fusco and her biological mother elsy mejia vaquerano
Julia Fusco (left) discovered that she and her biological mother, Elsy Mejia Vaquerano, were both living in Boston.
Courtesy Julia Fusco

Growing up, Julia Fusco dreamed about reconnecting with her birth mom — and it should have been easy.

Fusco, 22, knew she had Puerto Rican and Salvadoran heritage; she had letters and photos of her birth mom; she had even met with her once when she was an infant. But the Boston–based adoption agency that was supposed to share letters and photos from Fusco’s adoptive parents with her birth mom closed, severing the connection. All Fusco had was a first name: Elsy.

“I had no last name, just initials: EJMV and I tried looking up Hispanic last names with those initials or googling ‘Elsy’ ‘El Salvador’ or checking Facebook for people with the first name Elsy,” she says.

Fusco’s adoptive mom, Kristen, had mixed emotions about her daughter’s quest to find her birth mother.

“My first reaction was concern; concern for Julia and how she might be received by her biological family as well as what it may mean for my family,” she says.

In 2017, Fusco did a DNA test on a popular site and it turned up a few fourth cousins but no one who could get her closer to finding her birth mother.

“I got to a point where I thought I was probably never going to meet her, which sucked because it had been a life goal forever,” she says.

Nevertheless, Fusco wanted to tell her adoption story for her senior-year college project in documentary filmmaking. A professor suggested she take a second DNA test so she could film the moment she got the results. It was a moment made for the movies.

“I gasped and cried,” she says. “It was crazy. My older brother was only living 25 minutes away.”

Fusco met her brother in November 2022. A week later, she met Elsy.

“I [was] always looking to meet her,” says Elsy Mejia Vaquerano, 43. “I always [felt] incomplete in my life because a piece of me was somewhere [and] I would think, If only she could be here in my life, I would be completely happy. So now I feel completely happy.”

For Fusco, there was nothing better than experiencing the moment she had always dreamed about.

“I am purely happy,” she says. “They welcomed me with open arms.”​

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