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Want to get your family off the phone and laughing this holiday season? Try a creative game! And there are many you can play without spending a dime; so you can focus on building bonds, not breaking the bank.
Sharing a love of games can be a natural pathway for building family connections, building a shared past, present and future. “You’re together in the present, but repeated rituals like games can also hark back to generations in the past,” says Dawn O. Braithwaite, a communication studies professor at the University of Nebraska who studies family relationships.
It’s also about storytelling, says Nicolas Ricketts, a curator at the the Strong National Museum of Play in Rochester, New York. When grandparents and grandchildren explore museum exhibits, you can often hear them say something like, “ ‘We had that when we were young,’ ” he says.
Here are tips from Braithwaite and Ricketts on how to use games to build bonds, along with 5 games that won’t cost you a penny.
First get your family to buy in to the idea of a game
To encourage your family members to play games when they come together, it helps to do a little advance planning, says Braithwaite.
Solicit buy-in on which games to play. Before the holiday, tell your family what you’d like to do. Mention a few of the games you’re thinking of and ask what they think and what they’d suggest. If you have new family members, it’s also a good way to make them feel included, says Braithwaite.
Round up a fan club. “Line up a few people in advance who agree to give this a whirl,” says Braithwaite. That way you know you have a group ready to play. Their willingness may encourage others to consider getting involved.
Be flexible. What makes a game fun probably differs from family to family. “It’s hard to pin down,” says Ricketts. “Games that are successful tend to have a spark of creativity and are easy to set up. They also may be innovative.” Ultimately, “if it’s a fun game, [the family is] going remember it and keep it alive.”
It’s also important to let people choose whether to participate. People tend to be more willing to do things they don’t love doing if they’ve had agency over that decision, says Braithwaite.
Simply start playing. “Just go for it,” Braithwaite urges. “When they see you’re having fun, invite them to join you.” And keep in mind that being a spectator is still a way of joining in. Sometimes it takes time to build new family traditions.
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