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Hate Winter? Here’s How to Rethink the Season — and Maybe Learn to Love It

You can’t control the weather or the darkness, says the author of ‘How to Winter,’ but you can control your attitude about it


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Photo Collage: AARP; (Source: Getty Images (3))

The frigid floor when you climb out of bed on a February morning. The gusts of wind as you struggle toward your car after grocery shopping. The darkness that descends on a December afternoon. The brown crusty snow piled in parking lots long after a February storm. Winter is a bummer, right?

But it doesn't have to be. 

In her new book How to Winter: Harness Your Mindset to Thrive on Cold, Dark or Difficult Days, Stanford-trained health psychologist Kari Leibowitz argues that creating and maintaining a “positive wintertime mindset” can be the difference between experiencing the “joys and delights of a special time of year” and grimly "sleepwalking" through a whole season.

And it’s not that hard to choose the former, says Leibowitz — “a reformed winter hater,” as she puts it — whose research has included spending a sunless season in Northern Norway and visits to some of the chilliest places on earth. Her book describes how people in these cultures have, by necessity, adapted their behaviors and attitudes to make their winter days more pleasurable — and how we can borrow some of their strategies.

The easy stuff includes making your home as snug as can be (get out those fluffy blankets, candles and fairy lights, people!). But she also advocates bundling up appropriately and spending time outside, even on the coldest days (it can be a serious mood booster), as well as changing the way you talk about winter. It can be subtle: She'll say, "I hate being cold," not "I hate the cold," for instance.

If you adapt your physical environment and behavior during winter, Leibowitz insists, your outlook is likely to change with it. (It’s a “fake it till you make it” kind of thing, which she describes as “a tragically underrated” strategy.)

The author discussed ways to winter well with AARP by video chat from Amsterdam, where she’s been living for the past few years. (The interview has been edited and condensed for clarity.)

Start preparing for winter in the fall

I love the fall. It's the time of year when it starts getting darker, and I start changing my behavior. I get out the candles, and I light them when the sun sets —or, if it's gray and cloudy out, I'll light them when I sit at the table to eat breakfast in the morning. It's so basic, it's almost cliche, like, “Oh, light some candles.” But it's really about transforming the darkness. It's really about saying, “OK, it's gray and cloudy and dark out, so that facilitates me making it cozy inside.” Maybe I’ll host a cozy dinner party. I’ll put a heavy duvet on the bed and get out my pajamas and fuzzy socks.

Let yourself slow down in the winter

I have close friends who know what my research is about, but after the clocks change in November, they say, “I’ve just been so tired lately, I don’t know what’s wrong with me.” And I’m like, “Hello! There’s nothing wrong with you. Every other living thing is doing something different in winter, so [ask yourself], why am I beating myself up that I feel more tired at this time of year?” There’s this view of us as robots — that we should have the same energy and productivity and motivation year-round, no matter what it's like outside, no matter what's happening in the world.

You may not really have Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD)

The most important thing to understand about SAD is that it’s a subtype of clinical depression. So you first need to meet the threshold for clinical depression before you can be diagnosed with SAD. There are people who have real full-blown SAD, and really suffer from that. But I think one problem is an over self-diagnosis that makes it seem more common than it is. Also, you can have a crappy week in the summer, too. I think winter gets scapegoated a lot.

Make your favorite parts of the holiday season last all winter

We are celebrating winter around Christmastime, like when we use lights to turn the darkness into an asset. So now this thing that we hate — the darkness — becomes this thing that facilitates something we love, including all these cozy rituals, like baking cookies, and having festivities with warm beverages and friends and family. But I think it often doesn't occur to people to do those things once New Year's is over.

You don't have to love every part of winter to have a positive winter mindset

You don't have to think, “I'm so happy it's cold and dark and raining,” to say, “It's cold and dark and raining, so I'm going make some soup and light some candles and have a movie night and make it fun.” I think there's more room for nuance, where you can think, “This isn't my favorite time of year, but I'm still going to look for the opportunities here.”

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A positive winter mindset can be useful when facing other dark, difficult days

Winter is a time of slowing down. It's a time of going inward. It's a time of darkness. And we're all going to have times like that. You have surgery and you have to recover, you get divorced, you lose your job, you're grieving, you're burnt out. Some of these things are going happen to you. How much do you fight that need to slow down and go inward? It’s a time to say, “This isn't my season for growing and being super productive and being a rock star and crushing all my goals. This is my season for maintenance and restoration and healing.”

Get outside

Winter really will be limiting if you have this perspective that you can't go outside from November to March. Expand your sense of what it's possible to do and enjoy. It’s something I assign my students to do [Leibovitz teaches workshops on harnessing the power of mindset to embrace winter]. I tell them to take an outdoor winter excursion. Layer up, put on the right clothes and get outside. And their reflections on the experience always follow a similar trajectory, from “I didn't want to do it. I almost bailed. I went outside. It was cold, and I was uncomfortable.” Then, “I started moving, I got used to it, and it was actually really nice. It was beautiful out. And then I came home, and I felt so much better. And then I did it again the next day.”

Start small

Go outside in the cold for a few minutes. Do it as an experiment. Tell yourself that you're going to do it once, and if it's really life-ruining, you don't have to do it again. Because it’s highly likely that if you do it, it's going to be a good thing.

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