Where to Find the Best Sex Toys

You might be ready to try sex toys to spice up your 50-plus sex play, but where to shop for them can be daunting. An actual store where you can talk to a salesperson and browse might be appealing unless you are afraid of, yikes, is that my neighbor?! Online is another option but what’s legit and what’s not? Here’s all the buzz on sex toys from the experts.

My husband and I are interested in exploring sex toys but stumped on where to get them. I worry about unsafe websites, and I think if I went to a sex toy store, I’d become overwhelmed. Can you provide safe sources for sex toys geared toward older adults?

As with many products, there’s a learning curve — as I found out when I first started shopping for sex accessories. What material is the toy made of? What’s the battery life? Is there a warranty? And, for some older adults who may have issues gripping a toy, is it ergonomic? All questions best answered by an experienced salesperson.

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Shop talk

Allison Kent, a licensed clinical social worker focusing on relationships and sex, urges you to visit a sex toy store and ask a salesperson for help. The educational training that store staff receives tends to be comprehensive — and the human interaction, she says, far exceeds what you will experience online.

In the Mood

For AARP’s In the Mood column, writer Ellen Uzelac will ask experts your most pressing 50+ sex and relationship questions. Uzelac is the former West Coast bureau chief for The Baltimore Sun. She writes frequently on sex, relationships, travel and lifestyle issues.

Do you have a question? Email us at sexafter50@aarp.org

Qualities Kent says to look for in a sex toy shop include: staff who are knowledgeable about the products, are good listeners and are respectful in how they communicate with you regardless of “your age, gender, kink or preferences.”

Another benefit: When you shop in person, Kent says you can see the toy up close, feel a sample, experience the texture and explore the different features. “Staff should wear and offer you latex gloves to test out the toy before purchase,” she adds.

And if you don’t want to have a sex chat right out in the open, Sari Cooper, codirector of the Erotic Intimacy Academy and founder of Center for Love and Sex in New York City, recommends booking a private appointment in advance — something many shops are happy to do.

Check out online options

If you don’t have access to a brick-and-mortar store (or the thought of going into one is just too much), there are plenty of reputable websites that sell sex accessories.

If you’d like a shop that caters to women, Cooper, a certified sex therapist, favors smaller, entrepreneur-led and female-owned sites like Unboundbabes. “It has a smaller menu of toys than some of the larger sites so it won’t overwhelm you,” she says.

If you want a toy that doesn’t look like a toy, she recommends Dame Products, which sells sculptural toys that “look like works of art.” Cooper gives the company high marks for its sophisticated design features, a wide array of pulses on each of its toys and discreet packaging.