AARP Hearing Center
“Where should I put this pot? Hurry! It’s hot.”
“Is there beef in this gravy? You know, I’m vegan now.”
“Where did I leave my wine?”
“Watch out!”
As family members enter, the conversations crisscross through the kitchen like a chaotic freeway overpass system. My mind can’t decide which words to follow.
Some relatives are bringing food while others carry complaints, demands and strong opinions. Everyone has one thing in common: they all like to be heard.
Ice clinks into glasses. Drinks are poured. Bags of chips and nuts are ripped open. My daughter rearranges my refrigerator to her liking.
Through it all, I hear my 99-year-old mom’s voice calling from her chair.
“Where am I?”
“You’re in the living room,” my granddaughter says, annoyance disguising her sadness.
“Who are you?” My mom’s words bite the air. I wish she could control her anger. “Where am I?”
I ask myself the same thing. Where am I and how did I end up in this crazy family? I couldn’t love any one of them more than I do, but sometimes in the middle of the bedlam, I question my sanity in hosting the holidays.
My family members range in age from 13 to 99. My husband is a disabled Vietnam veteran. My granddaughter is an idealistic liberal. One grandson is a convinced conservative, while the other is addicted to his games. My daughter is maintaining her sobriety, focusing her attention on helping others in the AA program. An ex-in-law drinks too much. My mom is in a place known only to her.
With so many differences, I pray to every god imaginable — Yahweh, Jesus, Buddha, even Aphrodite — that no one will storm off tonight, leaving behind an empty seat and a lump in my stomach.
To keep peace, I search for non-controversial topics to bring up at dinner. But even the weather — once a safe subject — can now lead to a fierce debate over climate change. Nothing, not even the gravy — actually especially the gravy — is free from debate.
No one wants to sit next to my mom. It’s not that she’s a messy eater, but she is not much of a conversationalist. On the other hand, no one wants to sit next to Uncle Manny either. He’s the relative who knows everything about anything. Mention an African safari and he understands how elephants think. Mention a skin rash and he knows the cure.
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