10 Tips for Family Caregivers Managing Medical Matters

3.  Ask about telemedicine

Telehealth has been established as alternative for patients. More than half of adults in the U.S. have had a telehealth visit, according to a Public Opinion Strategies poll conducted in January 2024. The poll found that 89 percent of those said they were satisfied with the visit. If you or your loved one is interested in telemedicine, ask the health care team about whether and when a video or phone consultation can replace a trip to the office.

Review your insurance. Check that your family member’s insurance will cover telemedicine.

Check your tech tools. Find out which video chat program your doctor uses, such as Zoom, FaceTime, WhatsApp, or their own online platform or patient portal. Make sure you can connect on the device you’ll be using (phone, computer or tablet).

Set up the area you will use. Make sure your device is plugged in or fully charged. If you have a thermometer, blood pressure monitor and pulse oximeter, have them at the ready.

Log in 10 minutes early. Allow time to resolve any technical difficulties. Be patient if the doctor is running late.

4.  Consider mobile health care and monitoring devices

There are health care providers who make home visits — nurses as well as physical, speech and occupational therapists — who will come to your house. There are also labs that will collect blood and urine samples, X-rays, ultrasounds and other tests in the comfort of your home.

Find out if your loved one’s insurance will cover it. Medicare will cover some of these services for individuals who qualify as “homebound.” Ask the mobile health care provider for help determining if your loved one will qualify. My dad received care from Veterans Affairs, and mobile services were covered through his VA health care. (See AARP’s hub for veterans for information about these and other benefits.)

Ask providers about medical monitoring devices. Devices in your home can track atrial fibrillation, blood pressure or blood sugar information and automatically share it with your loved one’s health care team. Dad had a pacemaker, and using a remote device to send in the pacemaker readings saved us from making many trips to the cardiologist.

5.  Document everything

Because I take notes at every appointment and procedure, and also record dates of tests and list results, I can often find what the doctor said at the last visit more quickly than they can on their computer.

Notes are helpful at the hospital. One of the many times my mom was hospitalized, the doctor said she should be taken off one of her drugs. I asked to see the medications list in her file on the hospital computer and discovered that one hadn’t been removed — a nurse was about to give it to her. I showed my notes to the nurse, who called the doctor to confirm and immediately stopped the medication.

6.  Don’t assume one doctor knows what another is doing

Electronic health care records have helped with sharing of patient information, but in my experience most practitioners don’t communicate with each other. That winds up being your role as a family caregiver — you are the information hub.

Keep track of tests, diagnoses, treatments and plans. Many health care offices have online portals on which you can set up a profile for yourself or a family member, exchange messages, get doctors’ notes and see lab and other test results.

Ask pharmacists to review prescriptions for possible negative interactions and keep an up-to-date list of medications. I learned much more about my parents’ medications from our pharmacists than I did from their doctors.

7.  Clarify family roles

While I held the primary health care POA for my parents, my sisters sometimes helped coordinate care. It was important that we kept one another updated and that practitioners knew it was OK to talk to any of us about our parents.

Select a point person. Many families designate one person to interact with the health care team.

Make sure everyone involved is clear about their role. Avoid having multiple people calling the doctor about an issue at the same time.

8.  Establish mutual respect

The health care team, including the support staff, work hard, sometimes under difficult circumstances.

Express your gratitude. I’ve sent health care workers thank-you notes and brought flowers or cookies. They hear a lot of complaints, so appreciation goes a long way and contributes to better service.

Model the kind of interaction you’d like to have from them, including being pleasant and patient.

9.  Focus on what gets results

With so many patients to care for, our requests may get lost in the shuffle.

Find out the best time and way to be in contact — phone, email, text or online via a patient portal. If you leave a voice message, let the recipient know if there are times you won’t be available for a return call.

Be politely persistent. A pleasant phone call can help move your request to the top of the list. But don’t be shy about calling often if the matter is urgent.

10.  Practice patience

Sometimes you will have to swallow your frustrations (trust me, you’ll have some) and concentrate on getting things done.

Focus on solutions. When a lab made a mistake on my mom’s tests, I was so furious I found myself screaming at the person on the phone. I knew how hard it was for Mom to get to the lab, and I didn’t want to put her through a repeat of the test. When the office manager put me on hold for a few minutes, I realized I was scared that Mom would get sicker, and my fear wasn’t helping the situation. I calmed down and we worked out a solution when the call resumed.

Managing health care for others can be unpredictable and emotionally draining. We aren’t perfect and neither are providers. Stay focused on the best possible care for them; go with the flow, gather information and keep communication open. 

This article, originally published in 2020, has been updated with new statistics and additional advice.