5 Ways to Find the Connections That Can Make You Happy

We often go about our lives in the same rhythm day after day — the same commute to work or the grocery store, the same interaction with just one neighbor in the driveway and maybe a nod to the same dog walker who crosses your path every day.

But, just below the surface of the mundane and familiar lies an entire network of potential connections, both personal and professional, that we are completely overlooking.

These missed connections might hold the secret to what we crave — which we can get if we are willing to work a bit harder for them.

These little interactions have big meaning, especially as we age — some researchers call emotionally gratifying relationships and being social a “buffer” against the tough parts of aging, such as negative health changes and reduced cognitive functioning. 

Here’s how to give it a try.

1. Wear outfits that say something — so someone says something

Some outfits are just dying for someone to come up to you and start chatting. 

“I once had a man that was probably my father's age stop me because I was wearing a Pink Floyd sweatshirt and ask me where I got it,” Melissa Hoffmann, a mindset coach and hypnotherapist in Folsom, California, told AARP Experience Counts. “He was a huge fan of the band and so excited to be able to talk to someone about why he loved them, and the time he saw them in concert.

“It created such a small but joyful moment for both of us to chat about something we both enjoyed and create a connection.”

It might even help you meet your new business partner. Bennett Kleinberg, of Brooklyn, New York, told AARP Experience Counts that a man in his 60s commented on his wife’s sweatshirt in a store. 

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“We got to chatting and realized we had a lot in common professionally as well as personally. Fast forward, today I am working with him on his startup.”

2. Talk to strangers

It’s counterintuitive and definitely not your mom’s favorite advice. Yet, it works. “When it comes to strangers, at such a young age we were conditioned and programmed from our caregivers by hearing ‘don't talk to strangers,’” Julie Costa, a hypnotherapist and trainer in Boston, told AARP Experience Counts.

“And so as we grow older, we have that subconscious belief running in the background that connecting with or talking with strangers may bring about some sort of threat and actually prevent us from truly connecting with people we don't know.”

3. Listen to the quiet urgings

Call it your gut or the angel on your shoulder. Many of us have a voice inside guiding our next steps. Listen to it.