Make the Most of ‘Me Time’ at 50+

Watch a fun show or movie. A self-proclaimed cinaphile, Wall says she loves to watch TV for me time because it helps her relax when she’s not working.

“I watch TV … especially old TV [shows] and movies. I love watching stupid reality shows like American Idol, The Voice,” she says. “I don’t want to think after [work] hours.”

Find your inner Monet. Snelling says painting can be “really great for older adults.” It slows you down and can even be cathartic and spiritual because it’s about focusing on something and creating a story.

“If I’m looking at the ocean, it’s not just the ocean and the visuals,” she says. “It’s the sound of the waves. It’s maybe the seagulls that I hear. It’s the smell of the salt air, and all of that is being infused into this painting I’m creating.”

Spend some time with your pet. What’s better than some quality time with your fur baby? Snelling, Frates and Wall all said they enjoyed spending time with their dogs outside as a me-time activity.

“I love the fact that my dog gets me outside looking at nature, listening to the birds,” Snelling says. “There’s some physical wellness in that, but it also boosts my mental health.… Even when it’s fresh air and it’s kind of cold, it feels like it’s a breeze going through my brain — it’s clearing out my brain for everything I need to do.”

Not a dog person? Time spent with any kind of pet can count as me time if it brings you joy. 

If you don’t own a pet but love spending time with animals, consider volunteering at your local animal shelter.

Listen to music. Snelling once had a woman in one of her workshops that was feeling like “there was nothing left for her” in life. She had a couple of kids at home and she was taking care of her mother-in-law all while her husband struggled with his own health. So, when Snelling encouraged her to pursue something that truly brought her joy, the woman landed on music.

“One of the things she told me is I just don’t listen to music anymore,” Snelling said. “She said, even when I’m in the car, I just feel so harried.… So, we decided that on Mondays she would start to play music for herself in the morning, because we wanted to get her back into a routine of music being something that kick-started her week, kick-started her day with joy.”

Eventually, her family got behind the idea. And a breakfast time “bump in the kitchen” became just the thing the woman needed to feel like she had something for herself again.

Play a board game — yes, with someone else. When you think of me time, you might assume you have to be alone. But Frates’ suggestion reminds us that’s not always the case.

“Usually me time is solitary, but it does not have to be,” she says. “For example, if playing chess or board games feels relaxing and fun for you, you may need someone else to join you for your me time. It is considered me time in this case because it is something you want to do and it is pleasing to you.”

Declutter. A messy home can leave you “feeling like things are overwhelming and they’re caving in on you,” says Snelling. 

“Maybe you take one small drawer in your house because decluttering is so hard for some people,” Snelling says. “Take one small drawer and just do that this week. That’s it. You don’t need to do the whole garage. You don’t need to do the whole attic, take one small drawer and declutter, and all of a sudden it’ll perk you up.”

Take a nap. “Depending on how a person is feeling, a nap may be me time,” Frates says.

According to Sara C. Mednick, a professor of cognitive science at the University of California, Irvine, a nap during the day can be beneficial as long as underlying health issues aren’t driving  you to want the nap. For people 50-plus, napping can even counteract the weakening of our circadian rhythms that often occurs as we age.

Do nothing. Wall says effective me time can be as simple as allowing ourselves “to do nothing.” She points to the Italian phrase “la dolce far niente” for those looking for inspiration.

“It means the sweetness of doing nothing,” Wall explains. “We’ve gotten into this mindset in our society that if you’re not doing anything then you’re lazy, but it’s just the opposite.”

Older people don’t always have the energy they used to, Wall adds, so allowing ourselves to do nothing becomes even more important as we age.

How much me time is best?

Ideally, take 30 minutes or an hour on a me-time activity, says Frates. But if that sounds like too long a time, short bouts of me time are absolutely fine as well, she says.

Snelling also stresses that you don’t have to commit to lengthy me-time sessions. The magic number she recommends for people to use is seven minutes.

“You don’t need to be self-defeating in thinking I have to spend an hour, I have to spend half an hour,” Snelling says. “Just seven minutes is going to make you feel like you did something.”

And how much time per week? Some people may be able to squeeze in more sessions than others, says Wall, but she suggests trying for a little time each day.

Snelling says picking a day of the week for your me time works well too; she likes Mondays because they’re good days to reflect on your me-time goals and reset for the week ahead, she says.

“When we check in with ourselves every Monday … it gives us that continued consistent hope for new beginnings.”

That said, she adds, whatever day works for you is best. 

Remember that you’ve earned it

No matter how you choose to spend your me time, know there’s nothing to feel guilty about. Me time is a crucial part of self-care, and you have every right to partake in such wellness practices — perhaps even more so as you age.

“I’m a big proponent of me time,” Wall says. “And, you know, seniors, we’ve earned it. We have to acknowledge that we’ve earned it and that we have our own permission to have that me time because we spent our lives working and taking care of people and all that. So, now it’s our turn.”

“It’s really about bringing more joy into our lives,” Snelling says of me time. “And joy is a longer-lasting emotion than even happiness because joy is kind of our perspective on life.”