The Ultimate Guide to Watching Your Grandkids

From the legal authority you need to planning meals, here’s what you should know

Jamie Davis Smith,

AARP

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Published July 02, 2024

graphic of grandparents greeting their grandkids at the front door

Pete Gamlen

For many families, Grandma and Grandpa are MVPs when it comes to childcare. They may step in to watch their grandchildren so parents can vacation alone, help out during work trips or take on a more regular childcare role by watching kids when parents are at their jobs. While top of mind might be which park to take the grandkids to or getting supplies for an ice cream sundae, it’s good to be more formally prepared – both legally and logistically.

While grandparents will inevitably be left to figure some things out on their own, Kristina Darwood, a mother of three, family law attorney and legal expert with JustAnswer, says, “Parents should go over and above to make sure that the grandparents have everything they need to help make this time go by as smoothly as possible.”

Here’s what you need to prepare for time with your grandkids.

Ask parents for paperwork in case of emergency or otherwise

“Although parents don’t legally have to prepare any documents for their children’s grandparents, it’s always best practice,” says Darwood.

The goal in preparing these documents is to delegate some “parental rights and authority to the grandparents on a limited basis” so that grandparents can make decisions for their grandchild “if there is an emergency or other unexpected situation,” Patrick Hicks, an attorney with Trust and Will, an online estate planning service, explains.

All parents should have at least three documents ready to hand over to grandparents: a childcare authorization form or a power of attorney, a medical treatment authorization form and a permission to pick up form.

Childcare authorization letter. This is the simplest and most informal document giving grandparents legal authority to care for their grandchildren, says Darwood. To be effective, it’s important that the document specify “who will be caring for the child, for how long, the child’s name and date of birth, and the parent’s names and date of birth,” she says. In the letter, parents should specify what the grandparents are permitted to do with their grandchildren while they are away.

For example, this can include being able to pick up the child from day care or school, as well as giving the school absence information and signing any permission forms, she says. These types of letters are often enough to allow grandparents to make many medical and nonmedical decisions on behalf of their grandchild, says Hicks. However, he cautions that these letters are an “informal replication of the more official processes,” and may not be sufficient in all situations, such as if a child requires medical care that goes beyond a routine illness, so it’s not the right choice for all families.

Power of attorney. Parents who want to give grandparents more comprehensive decision-making power should consider a power of attorney for the care of the child, Darwood says. “This document legally gives someone authority to act as a parent of the child for a set period of time,” she says.

Parents can hire an attorney to create a power of attorney or buy a customizable form from RocketLawyer.com, LawDepot.com, FormsLaw.com or a similar online service.

Medical treatment authorization form. When parents are away, kids might need medical care for anything from the common cold to a traumatic accident. Unlike a childcare authorization letter, a medical treatment authorization form gives grandparents the power to consent to any type of medical treatment a child might need, no matter how serious, says Jamie E. Wright, founder of the Wright Law Firm and a single mother who relies heavily on her parents’ help for childcare. If parents prepare a medical treatment authorization form, Wright recommends including detailed contact information for both parents and grandparents, clearly stating that grandparents can make medical decisions for their grandchildren, specifying for how long the authorization is valid and including any other information required by your state.

Permission to pick up. While schools and day care centers might allow a grandparent to pick up kids from school with only verbal permission, others are very strict. Wright recommends that to cover their bases, parents provide written permission allowing grandparents to pick up the grandkids at schools, day cares, camps, coaches and anywhere else they might be dropped off for extracurricular activities. Many facilities can provide parents with the necessary paperwork. If not, parents can also find sample permission forms they can customize online, Wright says.

Wright also suggests asking parents to send “an email to let the grandchild’s teachers know about the situation for newsletters and general communication.” It helps in emergency situations but also ensures that grandparents get any information related to school or other activities promptly. No child wants to miss out on pajama day or a field trip. Similarly, grandparents don’t want to show up at a soccer practice that was canceled at the last minute because they were not added to the team’s text chain.

Keep information organized

Wright recommends putting all your important documents and helpful information in a binder including things such as contact information for the pediatrician, dentist and specialists; preferred urgent care and hospital locations; the child’s health history, allergies/dietary restrictions and medications along with dosage and frequency.

Do documents need to be prepared in advance?

Family attorneys generally recommend that parents prepare any necessary documents in advance. Darwood says that in many cases grandparents will never be asked to provide proof that they have permission to care for their grandchildren. However, “you do not want to have to rush to get legal documents signed while the parents are away and possibly not able to be contacted,” if there is an emergency she says.

Do families need to use an attorney to create these forms?

Darwood says that it is always advisable to consult an attorney when creating legal documents. However, families don’t always need to use a lawyer to help them. Parents can often create the necessary documents themselves, modify examples they find online, or obtain forms from doctors’ offices or schools.

Do forms need to be notarized?

Whether or not childcare authorization letters and other forms need to be notarized depends on the state and type of form. However, Darwood says that “it is generally best practice to have a document notarized when possible to verify the identity of the signer.”

What other information could grandparents use?

Aside from legal forms, there are some practical steps grandparents can ask parents to take to make caring for grandchildren safer and easier.

It’s a good idea to leave grandparents with any other information that can help things run more smoothly for grandparents. She also suggests that parents leave a detailed schedule including bedtimes, wake-up times, school hours, sports schedules, extracurricular activities and meal times.

Preplanned meals. When parents are away, meal times can be stressful for grandparents (picky eaters, overtired kiddos, etc.). To make things easier, Wright suggests providing grandparents with a list of “kid-friendly snacks and meal ideas for breakfast, lunch and dinner” and stocking the fridge with foods parents know their children enjoy.

Ask parents to plan for groceries to be delivered while they are away to help keep everyone’s belly full. Leaving a few gift cards for a meal delivery service, ordering pizza and leaving a gift certificate for a family-friendly restaurant “can also be a nice break for everyone,” she adds. Leaving “ice cream sundae and smoothie ingredients on hand for easy treats” is another nice thing to do for grandparents, Wright suggests.

A list of suggested activities. Even the most doting grandparents might run out of ideas about how to keep their grandchildren occupied. “Providing a list of things to do such as your favorite park, walk-in kids art studio, splash pad, the library,” is a good idea, Wright suggests. She also recommends sharing a suggested “schedule of weekday and weekend activities, which can make things easier for everyone and take the guesswork out of the lulls.”

A plan for backup care. Although many grandparents are happy to step in and care for their grandchildren, they may need a break. “It would be great if the parents prescheduled backup care,” Darwood says, “especially if the grandkids are on the younger side.” If it’s in the budget, Darwood suggests having a babysitter come over to lend an extra pair of hands for dinner and bedtime. If that’s not possible, parents can consider hiring a babysitter to give grandparents a night (or afternoon) off.

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Jamie Davis Smith is a mother and writer living in Washington. She has written for National Geographic, The Washington Post, Business Insider, Fodor’s Travel and several other outlets She can be reached at byjamiesmith@gmail.com.

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