We Went Behind the Scenes of ‘The Golden Bachelorette.’ Here’s What Happened

The ribbon dance was the hit of the evening, especially for Joan

Some of the performances had genuine appeal, like that of private investor Dan, 64, who did what he called “the ribbon dance.” He looked nervous, and his hands were shaking — but the shaking was from a tremor, thanks to a near-fatal bout of diabetes nine years ago. He’s got the diabetes under control now, but the tremor won’t go away. So instead of trying to hide it, he made it part of the act, making that red ribbon shimmy and doing a highly charming spiel: “You guys laugh, but you don’t know how serious this is. I mean, I’ve spent minutes this morning training for this! I’m not nervous — I have a little bit of a tremor. So when I looked at these [ribbons], I’m like, ‘This is perfect for my shaky hands!’ So this is for you, Joan.”

Score! Dan won the talent show hands down, and a dinner with Joan. She was far from fazed by the fact that when she holds his hand, it won’t be as steady as his heart and mind are. She admired not only his courage, but his wit and willingness to be a bit silly to win her over.

Also admiring Dan were a pair of 20-ish female fans who saw him sit down at a picnic table just steps from the set with a drink (it was amber, and he’d revealed in Episode 1 that he likes a bourbon). They hustled up for a moment, just as the interview with AARP began, then beat a giddy retreat amid embarrassed laughter — but lingered nearby. Everybody is attracted to a golden bachelor, it seems.​

Romance should be playful, Joan believes

“I wanted the fun factor to him — just have fun and be goofy and be playful,” Joan told AARP. “I hadn’t seen that from him. I’d seen vulnerability, the serious side, and then he came up into the goofy ribbon thing, which then [became] a ribbon my wrist.”

Act your age — but why be so serious?

“At this age, a lot of people don’t feel comfortable doing what you feel is undignified or silly,” said Joan. "You don’t want to be childish, but it’s OK for somebody with confidence in themselves.”​

Joan applauded all the guys

“They didn’t seem very nervous,” she told AARP. “They came out there, and they were superconfident.”

Even the chatterbox bon vivant Jack admitted he wasn’t as chill as Joan thought. “I had a lot of nervousness — shaking, my knees were weak,” he said after his act bombed.

“With the guys there all in the front row, I was trying to give them confidence,” Vassos said, “because I remember when I was sitting in the row like that. I was trying to look at them, like, ‘Emit confidence, and go be funny.’ I thought that since I had stage fright when I was in their shoes on The Golden Bachelor, everybody had stage fright. Apparently, that’s not true. They were all full of personality.”

Reality television helps you conquer your fears

Even Jack, who’s better as a chef than puppeteer, told AARP the show lent him new assurance. Joan said she had the same experience on The Golden Bachelor: “I felt, well, I can do that scary thing that I was really, really, really nervous about, that I’ve been nervous about for, like, my whole life. Now I’m fine. I just needed that one time when you have to do it: You chose to be on the show, and you can’t get up and out. I had to do it, and it cured that for me.”

Joan felt guilty as well as lucky

She said she absolutely hated having to reject so many men. “I feel guilty that I couldn’t choose all of them. It’s like I’m choosing one kid to be my favorite. Those rose ceremonies are torturous, because I’m sending people home,” she added with a deep lean forward for emphasis, “but they’re gonna go back to the mansion and have a good time with each other. They didn’t get a one-on-one date, but they’re gonna have a good night.”

It’s not just about the romance competition — it’s about male bonding​

“We’ve been in a hotel together, in the mansion together — no TV, no phones,” said Charles. “So we talk about intimate things of our lives and how we all got to this place, whether it’s the loss of a spouse through expiration or by divorce. Or it’s [about] children, or family. And with that, you have a connection, and by default, you root for the next man.”

The camaraderie is something else, Jack told AARP. “We got a captain from a ship, we got a guy that cuts hair like you wouldn’t believe. What the hell, we had a fireman. We had just about every walk of life. Then” — here he framed himself with palms open, chest-high — “you got a cook.”

Joan told AARP that ultimately, the shows are about love, not humiliating rejection, for most contestants. “I was only on the show for a week, and I talk to every one of those 21 women all the time. We are great friends. So no matter what happens, you won. And you know that the nation knows who you are now, and you’re out there.”

Joan explains the main thing she learned from being on ‘The Golden Bachelor’ and ‘The Golden Bachelorette’

“So — you’re gonna find love.”​