‘The Golden Bachelorette’ Episode 3 Recap: ‘Have you considered the possibility that your guy is not here?’

Joan and Pascal jetted off to Vegas.

Joan picked up Pascal — her choice for one of the episode’s two one-on-one dates — in a sporty red convertible to reach a private plane that would carry them to Sin City in style.

Once in Vegas, the couple entered a room full of glittery clothes where they could select something fancy to wear on their date. While they were giggling and trying on outfits, a special guest arrived. It was none other than Mr. Vegas himself, Wayne Newton, sporting a poofy jet-black coif and looking extremely well-preserved at age 82. He sang “Danke Schoen,” and the pair danced. Later Joan and Pascal had an intimate dinner lit by the glow of the Paris Las Vegas Hotel’s fake Eiffel Tower behind them. How perfect.

We learned Pascal’s surprisingly humble backstory.

“When you talk about Paris, you talk about the beauty of Paris,” he told Joan at dinner. “This is not where I lived. I had a very tough childhood.” His family didn’t have much money, he explained, and they slept six to a room, two to each bed. “We had no bathroom, no shower.” And “I never had my mom or dad come up and give me a compliment or say ‘I love you.’” Joan, ever the softy, was touched by his story. “I see a future with Pascal,” Joan told the camera, and, possibly still unaware of his aversion to household chores, added, “I think life would be wonderful with this man.”

She also seemed to enjoy his French kisses.

Twelve of the guys played kickball on a group date while Joan watched.

It turned out to be an extremely painful-looking game, which was grandly dubbed “the first annual Golden Bachelorette Quaker Oats Kick Bowl brought to you by our good friends at Quaker Oats” (hey, someone’s got to pay for that private jet). Keith, 62, Gary, Gil, 60, Dan, 64, Charles L., 66, Kim and Jordan, 61, were on the Blue Team. The Red Team consisted of Charles K., Guy, 66, Dan, 64, Chock, 60, Gregg and Mark. Former NFL stars Eric Dickerson, 64, and Andre Reed, 60, served as the guys’ ridiculously overqualified guest coaches.

(Left to right) Former NFL players Andre Reed and Eric Dickerson

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The bachelors definitely gave it their all — which may have been a little too much.

“So many people got hurt today — quad muscles, hamstrings, shoulders, fingers,” Charles K. said after the game. But the Blue Team won, which meant they’d be joining Joan for cocktails and have the chance to snag some precious get-to-know-you time with her. Gil took her aside for a private chat where he shared his sorrow over his wife’s passing. Always sympathetic to such grief, Joan later gave him a rose, so he’ll be around for another episode at least. (Read our recap of the second episode to find out why he might not be such a great match for our lovely bachelorette.)

The Red Team went back to the mansion to cry into their frozen pizzas and get postgame massages. “It’ll be an evening of ice packs and licking those wounds,” noted a dejected Mark.

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Joan and Jonathan went horseback riding.

When the handsome Jonathan found out that he’d been selected for the second one-on-one date, he looked scared, then grew tearful in front of the guys. “I’m emotional, because I wanted to go on the group date” (said no one ever, on this show). Later he explained, “I’m going to be totally exposed and so I’m nervous.” But the horseback riding date went just fine. During a quiet moment, Jonathan told Joan about the painful end of his marriage: His ex-wife woke him up one morning to tell him she wanted a divorce, “out of the blue.” It made him feel like “I’m not enough,” and he’s worried, he added, “I won’t be enough for you.”

Oh, Jonathan! Joan reassured him, “I want you to know that I think you’re enough.” He got a rose and a kiss for his show of vulnerability (she really loves that).

The cringiest part of the episode involved Captain Kim.

Kim wrote a song for Joan and tried to get the other men to join him for a group performance of the tune.

The lyrics included:

We are the mansion men
The golden season mansion men
Here to win the heeeaaaart of Jooooaaan
We come from everywhere
We still have love we want to share
We’re tired of being alone…

Gary tried to be diplomatic while explaining why he didn’t want to participate: “Kim … this is your song to Joan.” Yet Kim somehow convinced Guy to sing it with him for Joan, who later sent the captain packing.

Joan told the guys that she’s getting freaked out about this journey.

She sat down with the guys before the rose ceremony and told them, through tears, that she’s struggling. She misses her family and is concerned about her 92-year-old mom, who’s having health issues. And she wonders if she can really get past her grief over the loss of her husband, John. “People keep asking me, like, ‘Are you 100 percent ready to have love in your life?’ And I keep saying yes because I think that’s what I’m supposed to say. But, like, I’m not really, to be honest with you, and I don’t know if I ever really will be because John was a huge part of my life.”

That doesn’t mean she doesn’t want love, she explained, but, “You deserve to know what you’re getting in me.” They guys were super sweet about it. “I loved the vulnerability tonight,” Chock said. “If you want to talk about anything,” he told her, “I’m there.”

Gerry Turner

Brian Bowen Smith/ABC

Gerry, of all people, showed up with romantic advice for Joan.

What a surprise (if we hadn’t seen it in the “coming soon” segment last week)! A limo dropped off Gerry Turner, 72, the star of last year’s first-ever season of The Golden Bachelor who married his pick, Theresa Nist, 71, before they divorced a few months later. Joan seemed genuinely happy to see the very tanned Turner waiting for her in front of the Bachelor Mansion and sat down with him for a heart-to-heart about her confusion over whether she’s ready for love. Turner offered her his best romantic advice: “Take a breath and be yourself.” He also asked her, “Have you considered the possibility that your guy is not here?” She said, “I considered that before … but I have a couple strong connections.”

The “coming up” reel, as always, hinted at the drama to come.

We can expect: some of the guys performing a raucous strip show; Joan and Jordan twirling around in what looks like falling snow; Joan sharing a cupcake with Guy; Chock saying, “I don’t know if I can do this,” and telling the guys, “I just want you to know, I’m going to leave”; and Joan crying again. See you next week!